I'm Feeling Blue

The Dexter’s feelin’ blue today. Too much to do, and too little energy to do it. It’s sort of a Catch 22, or a self-fulfilling prophecy, or a vicious shame cycle, or some combination of all of those things– 22 vicious self-fullfilling shame prophecies caught in a cycle.

So what, in my depleted state, can I offer you, my non-existent readership? Well, my latest column, "Primary Colors," is available online, linked to, for your reading convenience, by the hotlink 24 and 25 words before this word that I’m writing right now. It’s certainly not my funniest column ever, nor my most profound, but it’s certainly the best column I’ve ever written on the subject of the Lamont-Sharpton-Jackson moral-political-strategic-Connecticutian-racial relationship matrix. And it includes this passage, which does some interesting things with hyphens* and suffixes** and elegantly deploys the phrase "oil slick capability":

If Lamont publicly distances himself from Alsse Jackton (as I call them when they fuse into a laser cannon-equipped, Voltron-esque crime fighting robot), he looks like he’s pandering to the racist-ish vote, which won’t even win over the Connecticut racist-ish vote because they don’t think of themselves as racist-ish and will resent Lamont for drawing attention to the existence of their racism-ism. If he stands by Jessal Sharpson (as I call them when they transform into a crime fighting Volkswagen Bug with oil slick capability), he continues to alienate the racist-ish-ers.

What else? A good friend of the blog has forwarded me a link to something called The Jetta Report, which she syas is "Something to do in your spare time!" Unfortunately, my computer is experiencing technical difficulties, so I don’t know what happens at The Jetta Report, but I’m sure it’s funky and ironic in the way that Volkswagen related program activities tend to be.

*I do a lot with hyphens. I like to make jokes out of series of hyphenated descriptors modifying a funny noun. I mention that because you probably haven’t noticed it consciously but now that I’ve said it you’ll realize, thinking back, that it’s true.

** I also do a lot with suffixes. Same basic principle.

Author: Dear Dexter

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