Halloween with Captain Slow

Well, it sure has been busy lately. First off, Jake got some extra ballots from mrs. mogan, and he done so in a way I just wouldnt of done, and I bet neighther would you. Which brings me to what happens when jackolanterns get all old and sunken, with mossy stuff growing in the upside down part of the head. If you knew Jake and Mrs. Mogan, you would agree that that last sentence is a good description of the both of them. But that aside, Jake is a shoo-in for justice of the peach now. And THAT aside, I wanted to say that Captian Slow came by on Halloween to see Jake’s wolf costume, which didn’t end up looking so good, though I did consider taking a shot at him when I saw him taking the woods way over to here. Captain Slow is Captain Slow becasue he took too many Qualudes about 30 yrs ago. I dont know how Captain Slow does it, but he goes to parties all the time, and he asked if we wanted to come with, so I and Jake and Dody al l went to a party with Capt Slow. People there were younger than all us and better looking but it was Halloween so no matter, and they were dressed like sexy electricians and sexy ghosts and sexy plummers and sexy thhis and sexy that. Now, in my day, Halloween was about getting dressed up all scary, not all sexy. But I have to say: I thimk I like it this way better. And I dont quite know how Captain Slow ended up kissing with Bill Clinton, who is a whole lot sexier as a female than you would think., but there you have it. Captain Slow is a slowmotion force of nature. He got to kiss Bill Clinton and touch Bill Clintons bosoms and all I got to show for the evening was Jake falling down in a ditch and Dody dancing with one of the Village People and me with a great big headache.

Author: Frank Dodge

Share This Post On

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest stories and posts from the Advocate. 


You have Successfully Subscribed!