As i have mentioned before, I and jake once had a bb gun fight and he shot my eye out, which is how i got this one brown eye, which had been in the head of a rabbi before it was put into my head. ever since i got this eye, i have felt like i have a little jewish blood in me, which i suppose i quite literally do.
anyways, last night was the start of channukah, so in honor of my eyeballs rabbi, we lit the candles and did some barook atah adonoys as best we cld. we invited a few people over b/c everyone loves to lite candles. Dody made potato pancakes for everyone and Travis brot me a manure-ah he had carved out of a big dry beefalo chip, and we put the candles in that. i do not know how the rabbi who once had my eyeball wld feel abt that, but i for one feel pretty good having a handmade menorrah from a neighbor, even if that neighbor pisses me off from time to time with his approach to animal husbandry. Jake liked the idea of giving presents before xmas has even started, and he handed out little balls of pantyhose with a face drawn on each one, and a bunch of grass seed that looks like whisker stubble. He says we are to water the pantyhose balls and they will grow beards. He calls the pantyhose balls Shia Pets, and he says his idea is going to make him a million dollars.
We had a good time, i and dody and jake and cpt slow and travis and some other folks who dropped in for a pancake and some screech and to look at the candles. Now, I know we dint follow things along quite by the book like we probly shld have. That is a true fact and I wont pretend otherwise. But i swear the following is true: by the end of the evening i had a little tear in that rabbis eyeball, so i think we done something right.