WARNING! Fried bluejay with give you the jumps

Back 8 months or so ago i found Dodie a orange kitten which is now a cat named Gillette. usually cats dont make it much past the 6 month mark up here b/c of fishercats and coyotes and whatnot, which is why we name our cats after disposable razors. gillette replaces a black and white tuxedo cat named schick, which replaced a tiger tom named Bic.

anyway, Gillete came home wed w/ a bluejay and a cardinal and dropped them rite on the kitchen floor like she was delivering groceries. both birds were on the plump side but gillete dint seem much inclined to eat them, and since i have always been curious and it seemed a shame to waste them, i just went ahead and cooked them up.

However, i have got to tell you that that bluejay tasted none to good and almost immediately i had the jumps. i think bluejays might be poisonous. anyway, the cardinal wasnt so bad. Tho for the effort you have to go thru to cook up even a large songbird like a bluejay or cardnal i just dont think its worth it and you are better off sticking with chicken.

but like i said, i dint want to waste the birds, and now i got all these pretty blue and red feathers. i think what i will do is try to catch a live bluejay and glue the cardinal feathers onto it and also catch a cardinal and glue the bluefay feathers onto it. i and jake done somethng like that before, when we caught a pigeon under a bridge once and glued some peacock feathers onto it and then let it loose on main street. the pigeon dint fly so good after that, but it did okay. It werent a cruel thiing we did. But it was a thing. No doubt abt that. It was certainly a thing we did.

And I have got to tell you. You can go and drink all the beer you want, ride all the rollercoasters you want, smoke all the marejuana you want, have all kinds of odd sex in public places you want, and you can travel to any country you want. But you have not lived until you get your hometown to summon experts from National Geographic Magainze and Harvard University and the Natural History Museum in NY to come investigate the descovery of a new breed of pigeon. That, friend, is living.

Author: Frank Dodge

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