Ahoy, Matey!: A Captain's Guide to his Semen

Having accomplished the majority of my boy-on-girl action in my teens and set up shop in lesbianland soon after that, I haven’t needed to put much serious thought into semen besides “Spit or swallow?” and “Please don’t fertilize me!”

So when a reader (let’s go with the theme and call him “Captain”) asked me if I know “what supplements or general dietary content lead to more semen production,” my first reaction was to abandon his email in my Inbox. Blame all the cunnilingus, or maybe it’s just my aversion to mushy food textures (I wouldn’t eat yogurt for a million), but I felt intimidated. Writing about getting men off? Totally! Writing about the stuff that comes out when they do? Hmm….

Well, my internal sex writer conscience and my love of a good puzzle kept bringing me back to the semen. Like you, Captain, I rose to the occasion. And… maybe unlike you, Captain… a lot of stuff came out of it.

So let’s talk semen. Sticky, bitter and sheet-staining, many might wonder why you’d want more of the stuff. But this is a common desire for many men. As with the social-sexual ideal that the bigger a woman’s breasts the better, plentiful ejaculation has become equated with libido, fertility and sexual prowess.

It makes sense that those ejaculating lesser volumes may feel their ego’s volume decreasing as well. Also, the more stuff you’ve got, the more pleasurable contractions it takes to get it out, meaning more ejaculate equals better orgasms for some.

If this is about baby-making, the volume of your ejaculate doesn’t necessarily say much about your sperm. The Mayo Clinic’s website tells me that fertility is all about sperm quantity, quality and motility, not about semen volume. One exception is if you’re experiencing “dry orgasms,” climaxes that direct ejaculate back through the bladder instead of through the head of the penis. Though this isn’t harmful, it can indicate that you aren’t producing enough sperm to justify expelling it, something to check with your doctor about. For healthier sperm, turn to multivitamins, fruits and vegetables, good stress management and physical exercise while avoiding things like tobacco, alcohol and prolonged stays in hot tubs (mayoclinic.com).

If this is solely an ejaculate vanity project, Captain, I’m sure your research (like my own) has resulted in quick-fix pills proclaiming things like “Engulf her in semen!” which should tip you off that these usually result in a load of crap rather than a load of cum.

There are much healthier (though not exactly guaranteed) ways to load up. Firstly, ejaculate is mostly water, so stay hydrated, avoiding dehydrating alcohol and caffeine, which not only dry you out but makes ejaculate taste bitter. Some causes of decreased semen are uncontrollable, like hereditary trends and age. Rumors have it that nutritional supplements like zinc, L-arginine, L-lysine, L-carnitine and lecithin and good fats like Omega-3 can supe up your semen, but maintaining a healthy, balanced diet will get you these nutrients and more.

Staying physically fit is always positive for your sex life, but in this case, a workout’s resulting blood circulation along with PC muscles exercises can pump up your volume. PC exercises tone the pubococcygeus muscles in the pelvic floor that are responsible for pleasurable contractions during orgasm and the power behind your ejaculate. For a basic exercise, stop and start your flow of urine, or try to slightly lift the shaft of the penis by flexing your muscles.

How and when you ejaculate also contributes. Though depriving yourself for weeks won’t result in a continuously built-up explosion, ejaculating more than once daily without a break could decrease its volume. Rushing to the finish line can also result in lesser loads and weaker orgasms. Explore Tantric practices like building up towards climax and then backing off, using lots of teasing and your favorite turnons to keep you alert and focused. Not only will your eventual orgasm be stronger, but it may also be more… productive. For more on PC muscles and Tantric practices, read The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams.


Yana Tallon-Hicks

Author: Yana Tallon-Hicks

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