Twenty dollars doesn’t go far these days (good thing orgasms are still free), but it’ll go farther in a sex toy store than you think. Just stay away from the cash-wasting penis tiaras and edible undies. Here’s to more banging for your twenty bucks.
Save on shipping and the disappointing “this isn’t what it looked like online” by buying in stores. Perusing online beforehand, however, is helpful as many sites allow you to browse by price. Those like babeland.com actually have an under-$30 section, so you can jot some notes before you shop.
In stores like Good Vibrations and Babeland, check out the “kits”—packages of sexcessories that are nicely discounted, though usually sample-sized. Babeland’s “Orgasm in a Box for Him” ($18), for example, comes with a vibrating ring, a Tenga Egg masturbation sleeve and lube. To get the most screams for your green, always consider a toy’s versatility. With this boxed O, you can use the vibrating ring around a penis, dildo or fingers and you can slip the bullet vibe out of the cockring and use it as a hand-held clitoral vibe. (The same trick works with Screaming O’s “O Wow” ring, thescreamingo.com).
While the famous Rabbit Habbit is bigger and flashier than Good Vibration’s Butterfly Kiss vibrator, it’ll cost you about $90 for its signature “twice-as-nice” G-spot-hitting penetration and simultaneous clitoral vibration. Meanwhile, kissing this particular butterfly gets you the same double-dipped stimulation in a more manageable size and price ($17).
The Night Rider (goodvibes.com, $22) is well worth the extra two dollars, as its smaller size and creative shape are not only “twice-as-nice”, but also anal safe and curved to hit the G-spot or prostate and makes a great clitoral vibe with four speeds. Just don’t pull the corded controller, as a yanked wire will kill the toy.
If your corded toys keep losing the tug-of-war, resolve the conflict with the Full House Battery Pack ($14) and your choice of Queen, King or Ace bullet attachments ($8, goodvibes.com) which plug into the battery pack like headphones, so if a cord breaks, the whole game isn’t over.
Kink enthusiasts often submit to the high price of BDSM supplies more than to their masters. Top those naughty markups with reuseable bondage tape ($18, babeland.com), which sticks to itself instead of skin, making for great restraints, cuffs and blindfolds. Pick up collars and leashes at the pet store for a greater, less expensive variety but don’t go cheap with cuffs. Cuff Love restraints ($15, goodvibes.com) are affordable, but won’t dangerously tighten or cut like metal handcuffs or neckties do.
Good porn DVDs are far from cheap and Internet freebies are far from good. Get off at the middle ground with an online subscription. DigitalPlayground.com lets you drool over orgasmic mainstream performers like Jesse Jane, Sasha Grey and Katsuni for $7.49/month (even though you pay the yearly $90 up front) and NoFauxxx.com‘s alternative flicks are an affordable fling at $9.99/week. KinkAcademy.com gives you 90 days of pornographically educational content for $19.95 and while their tittilating how-tos will cost you, improvement in your sexual techniques and knowledge are priceless.
Similarly, finding your G-spot, learning Tantra or brushing up on cunnilingus are invaluable skills, so spending your Andrew Jackson on a well-priced book will get you farther than those vagina-shaped chocolates ever will.
Safer and more slippery sex is always worth the investment. Good Vibrations and Babeland have great lube and condom sampler packs ($7-10) that allow you to try before you buy, but go elsewhere to get those sexy black gloves in bulk.
And while we all like a deal, certain things like silicone dildos, harnesses, premium vibrators with one-year warranties and anal toys will never be (and shouldn’t be) cheap. Silicone is durable and easily disinfected (therefore better for your health and safety), one-year warranties are attached to great vibrators and you should always be choosy about what you put in your booty, so spend a few extra twenties in these cases. Just shop smart; you want to break the headboard, not the bank.