I once made the mistake of telling a guy that not everyone likes having their G-spot touched. He stared at me with what could only be hatred for dispelling the myth that the G-spot is the be-all-end-all of female orgasms, the turbo switch, the one thing between him and sex god.
I hate to be the one telling people Santa doesn’t exist, but the G-spot just isn’t the insta-orgasm button it’s cracked up to be. As with any other spot on/in the body, how one feels when her G-spot is touched is subjective. Sure, some have these deep, pelvis-bucking or even porno-worthy, squirting orgasms, but others may just feel uncomfortable. We don’t all love getting our nipples pinched, so why is the G-spot any different?
Just not satisfied with the “We’re all different, do what feels good to you” sexual kumbaya this time? I didn’t think so. Here’s how to find what you want to know.
Read The Good Vibrations Guide: The G-Spot by Cathy Winks. I recommend this book for many reasons. It’s 52 small pages long, with pictures. It gets to the point, visually covers anatomy (all successful quests start with a good map), includes physical exercises for you and your partners and gives toy suggestions all in about an hour’s reading time, so you can get to practicing. More importantly, this book may just be the key to cracking the mysterious G-spot code that you spent years trying to figure out after your high school boyfriend accidentally found it that one time and you thought you might just die if you couldn’t find it again… theoretically, of course. Just read the book.
Then do some fieldwork. The G-spot is a ring of spongy erectile tissue surrounding the urethral opening and is generally located in the first two-thirds of the vaginal canal’s upper wall (towards the belly button). It responds well to pressure and will be easier to find post-foreplay as it swells with arousal. But it can be hard to reach without the help of a partner or toy.
If fingers are your chosen tool of the trade, curve toward the belly button and work with the notorious come-hither motion, communicating with your partner about pressure and location. In the case of toys, preferences like material, price-point, length, size and whether or not you’d like vibration are up to you.
Though vibration is essential to G-spot play for some, others may find it only distracts from their goal. What is essential in G-spot vibrators and dildos, however, is curvature—try the G-Ki G-spot Vibe by Je Joue, with locking, adjustable joints that allow you to customize the toy’s curve along with its variable vibration settings (jejoue.com), or the affordable, petite Dreamy-G Mini with a rippled shaft for continuous come-hithering and strong vibration (goodvibes.com), or strap on your favorite curved dildo.
Once you find the perfect toy, the only right way to stimulate the G-spot is with the combination of movement and pressure that works for you. Curve toward the belly button and try long or short strokes, strong or no vibration, and pressure play by angling the toy upwards or downwards, making sure not to underestimate subtlety, which can go a long way with the G.
For those on the G-spot hunt with a biological object, quell potential frustrations with the understanding that a penis isn’t always the best tool for G-spot discovery, as it’s not easy to control its pressure, firmness and bend. Make that stubborn spot more accessible with positions like doggie style, reverse cowgirl (her on top, facing away from you), putting her legs over her head, or pulling her knees to her chest.
How do you know when you’ve hit the spot? Because of the G-spot’s proximity to the urethra, many people initially feel the need to pee. Though you probably won’t, go beforehand and keep a towel handy. Once you get used to the sensation, you’ll get past it, potentially achieving deeper, fuller orgasms, a great addition to clitoral stimulation, or even female ejaculation (also requiring that handy towel).
For a variety of visual inspirations, turn to Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to the G-spot, Belladonna’s Evil Pink for hardcore girl-on-girl ejaculation scenes, and Playgirl’s Explosive Fantasies for heterosexual sex that’s spot-on.