Lost in Trans-elation

Until Shiloh Jolie-Pitt grows up to be a hunky transguy (fingers crossed) or Glee welcomes a new trans cast member who represents as well as Naya Rivera’s lesbian hotness (yes, please!), we’ve got few icons bringing transmale-sexy back. Though Chaz Bono’s brave coming out has brought trans conversations into America’s living room, you’ve got to know that transguy sex is much hotter than his bumbling DWTS cha-cha-cha may imply.

In a country that has a long way to go in terms of transgender acceptance, it’s almost impossible to talk about trans sex without defining key terms. But this isn’t trans 101. This is about sex toys!

It’s OK not to be familiar with the complexities of transgender identities, but with Mr. Bono, increased popular news coverage of trans issues (see recent Boston Globe article “Led by the Child Who Simply Knew“) and Google increasing health benefits for trans employees, it’s time to educate yourself about the basics. See Kate Sosin’s blog, The New Gender, that comments on a variety of trans issues, or The Transgender Child by Stephanie Brill, written for families and professionals tackling trans trepidation.

It’s important to note that many FTM transmen (ie. female-to-male trans-gender/-sexual people) rename their genitals in a myriad of ways that may be different from how the body parts they were born with, such as clitorises and vaginas, are named. With testosterone injections, the clitoris can enlarge and change sensitivity, so these body parts can also feel and look unique.

Like Prince, I wish there were a common symbol to represent The Body Part Formerly Known As Your Clitoris. Because TBPFKAYC is a horrible acronym, I’ll use the vague term ‘trannybits’. Can we talk about sex now? Jeez!

There is yet to be an ideal pack-and-play toy. A dildo stiff enough for penetration will make you look like a braggart when worn to the office, while a soft-pack that’s appropriately modest for class won’t have anyone begging for extra credit between the sheets. Vibratex’s Silky Dildo bends for a decent tuck, but is a porous material that can trap bacteria (so always use condoms for play!). The realistic Vixen Goodfella can bow down behind your jean’s zipperfly, but’ll have you Packing with a capital boner.

If you keep a spare in your pocket, the Spareparts Joque Harness can make your pack-to-play transition much smoother. Unlike traditional harnesses that get many lost in a mood-killing maze of straps, the simplicity of the Joque saves you the embarrassment of not being able to get your hard on (literally). The strapless pull-on design and body-conforming fabric is svelte enough to wear under your clothes with a softpack tucked into its front pouch, and, when you’re ready to romp, allows you to slide a dildo through the O-ring without taking it off.

The Tantus Realdoe, one of the only realistic, flesh-toned double-ended dildos, can be worn harness-free with one end housed internally by the “doer,” reducing your need for pesky hardware. Vibrating and 100 percent non-porous silicone, this toy can also be secured with the Joque harness for a more secure fit.

As popularly portrayed in the famous queer and trans Crash Pad Series porns, genital pumps can do wonders on trannybits, as the suction temporarily expands genital size, enhances sensitivity and creates a unique pulling sensation. The Pump and Cylinder Kit (babeland.com) draws the genitals into a clear tube for visually erotic play, and when released (safely so after 10-15 minutes of pumping), can result in increased length and sensation.

The Vibrating Pleasure Pump (goodvibes.com) provides simultaneous suction and three speeds of vibration in one encompassing cupped end. It can be extra fun when used with Sliquid Organics Stimulating O Gel, which tickles your sensitive spots pink with peppermint and menthol.

Trans or not, the mind is still the biggest sex organ. Give yourself some good head with Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica by Tristan Taormino or transmale-inclusive porns like Couch Surfers and Courtney Trouble’s Roulette series. Or kick back with the latest issue of Orginial Plumbing, the independently published trans-male quarterly magazine from Brooklyn. Got any more tricks of the trans trade? Comment below, or write in!

Yana Tallon-Hicks

Author: Yana Tallon-Hicks

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