Firstly: maybe it’s just that I’m tetchy on a Tuesday, the day the weekly cycle begins to revolve anew. But if I get another press release dubbed “_____ and _____ and _____, Oh My!” I may don sackcloth and ashes and run through the newsroom shrieking like Renfield.

In other news: the conglomerations of multiple ground cows that are fast-food hamburgers pretty much disgust me. This new development may be moral progress in that it involves no actual slaughtering of anything, but there’s something about it that’s frankly (or Frankesteinly) really off-putting as well.

Will people happily down lab-grown muscle with special sauce? I suppose the currently low standards for food argue that the answer is yes.