Today I’m doing two things: packing to move and prepping for my very first sex party.
“Packing to move!” you might say. Don’t worry, you loyal little pervs, sex nerds and casual exhibitionists. I’m not leaving you!
To the minority of readers who are more concerned about the sex party part, I say, “Oh, it’s just for research.” If you’re my friend: “Did I say ‘first sex party’? I meant ‘gazillionth.’ ” If you’re my wife: “Should we take our wedding rings off for this?”
What do packing and sex parties have in common? Cleaning! Whether you own one or as many sex toys as I do, cleaning is very important—especially for a sex party!
How you clean your toy is all about its material and whom/what you’re cleaning it for.
Silicone, stainless steel, some woods (if they’re appropriately coated), glass and ABS or TPR plastics are all non-porous. These are the best sex toy materials because they don’t trap bacteria, are durable and can be washed with soap and water. If they have a battery pack, don’t submerge them in water. If they vibrate but are rechargeable (especially those with a magnetic charge), cleaning is even easier as you can dunk those puppies in a tub and they’ll survive.
Nearly all silicone dildos, like my favorite Vixen Creations VixSkins, can also be cleaned in the dishwasher or boiled for three minutes. This is where knowing your audience is key.
If washing between rounds with the wifey or switching from backdoor to front door entrances, soap and water suffices. When selecting your weapon of choice for a sex party, a dildo stew is efficient and thorough. I choose a pot fit for a lobster dinner and boil all my non-mechanical silicone toys at once, like the stupid but hot witch from Hocus Pocus, and then lay them out on paper towels around the kitchen to dry.
If you want to be extra presentable for your very first sex party ever, dust Vixen’s VixSkin dildos with a body-safe cornstarch that will absorb any extra moisture that can leave their particular blend of silicone feeling slightly sticky post-washing; the cornstarch makes it realistic-feeling again. Boiling your silicone also appropriately sterilizes it for hump-me-downs to close friends.
Yes, bringing a box of your old sex toys to your going-away party may seem presumptuous and awkward initially. But once you explain the sterilizing magic that is boiling water plus silicone toys to your rapidly-becoming-intoxicated friends, I promise that box will empty.
Porous materials such as elastomer, leather, rubber, cyberskin and jelly are like sponges which absorb bacteria no matter how you wash them. Materials like rubber, cyberskin and jelly can contain harmful phthalates and should be avoided no matter your cleaning method.
Body-safe elastomer can be washed with soap and water, but if you share the toy, use it both anally and vaginally, or are prone to yeast infections, use a condom over the toy’s insertable part, whether you’re using it alone or with others.
If this sex party also happens to be a BDSM party, it’s extra important to clean your leather, rubber and fabric harnesses, floggers, whips, restraints and ball gags (stick to silicone balls, not rubber).
Leather cannot be sterilized. Clean it as best you can by washing it with a foaming cleanser and bristle brush to get all nooks and crannies—especially your floggers, as blood is a bodily fluid not to mess with. (Bring extras for quick partner-switches.)
Then spray it with a disinfectant such as Pjur Med Clean Spray, wipe it dry, and air it out before rubbing it down with leather conditioner to prevent brittle cracking. Simply machine-wash fabric harnesses such as the ever-amazing SpareParts Joque.
“Show me yours and I’ll show you mine,” I’ll say. “I promise it’s clean.”