Was it the popcorn scoop I lost in 1999? That really was an accident. And I was only holding Brion Dulac’s cigarette for him, Mr. Pini. I don’t even smoke.

You cannot do this to us, this going away. Give us your airplane-like “little theater,” your musty savoir-faire.

Forget about new technology. Just stop this bleeding away of Northampton’s finest features, will you?