I'm Mean on Vacation

That’s where I’ve been all week, in case you were wondering why I let the blog sit here unattended for so long. Over a week in Acadia National Park: heaven. I highly recommend it to everyone. Even if you don’t like camping or hiking there’s still plenty to see and do.

But that’s what we do, camp and hike. And if I’m going to be really honest, I have to say that my behavior was a bit sub-par on both fronts.

When you stay in a campground there’s a sense of camaraderie. We’re all in the woods, roughing it, we have to share resources and wait our turn, we’re all of the same mind-set. We like being away from it all (except the people who were sitting on a bench outside the camp store, clinging to their laptops and iPads, grasping for a wifi signal).

Oh and also – if you’re in a campground and you are loud during quiet hours – you are an a-hole.

Sorry. Spent a little too much time being woken up by loud people this week. Anyway when I used to go camping I was all smiles, making eye contact and grinning madly at everyone I saw. Now I’m not so interested in making friends.

Last year the people next to us were not the happiest of families. They wanted their kids to play with ours to keep them busy, and to hang around and talk to us. But sadly I think that was only to distract them from their vacation dysfunction. I gave them the cold shoulder like you’ve never seen. I can be damn good at it when I’m under pressure.

I’m not a mean person, farthest thing from it. But I think I acted this way all week because I’m a child care provider. It’s hard to explain because I truly love my job, and I’m so thankful for it and I have great clients. So I’m not complaining. And I’m sure another home care provider would understand what I’m trying to say.

My job is in my home. I have to clean constantly, and still the house looks a disaster most days. I’m basically hosting all the kids, feeding and napping them and taking care of their toileting needs (it’s like a B&B for toddlers). I have several people coming in and out all day every day, and have to always have a happy face on for them.

It’s exhausting.

So when I’m on vacation, away from all that, I’m not being happy for anybody. I don’t have the energy. You’re a stranger I’m never going to see again, and maybe it would be nifty if we clicked and became pen pals and you friended me on facebook. But that’s never happened in my whole life and I’m just fine with it. I have plenty of family and friends who I don’t get to see enough as it is.

Even on the hiking trails I was a bit short. Not rude, I was pleasant and making silly comments when we passed people. But I wasn’t friendly. On our last hike a young couple was coming up behind us, all energy and chattiness, and stopped to talk with us while we were taking a snack break.

My first thought was of that horror movie where people are hiking on Hawaii amongst serial killers (quick IMDB search: A Perfect Getaway). This is why I DON’T WATCH HORROR MOVIES.

My second thought was, you’re nice and all, and probably harmless, but – move along.

My husband chatted with them for a minute then asked what my problem was, they were nice. I told him about the horror movie flashback (I got that afraid just from watching the trailer, people). And he mocked me.

So I told him, look. I’m here for YOU GUYS. My husband, my kids, that’s who I’m concerned about. This is the only week in the entire year when I get to block everything else out and focus only on you. That’s all that matters – not that I made Chatty Cathy and her BF feel good about their hiking experience.

So if you happened to come across me at the campground I apologize for ignoring you. I just needed some time alone.

Author: Sitting On The Baby

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