The V-Spot: Unplug to Buttplug?


Hi Yana!

My partner and I both really like butt plugs. We have the “Little Flirt” [a small, silicone butt plug made by Tantus] that we ordered online to experiment with. A friend of ours suggested the Njoy Pure plugs [made of stainless steel and available in a variety of sizes] and they look great!

We want to get one for each of us, but trying to figure out what 25mm difference in radius would feel like from a website’s picture online is like trying to figure out the real feel of weather in Celsius.

Sometimes the Little Flirt comes out during play and we’re worried that the smallest Njoy Plug doing the same. So, should we buy larger?

When it was a $15 toy it was no big deal to just order it online and find out in the mail, but these toys are expensive! Is there a good way to order toys online or is it really just best to find a good shop that you can go to in person? Thanks!


I always recommend shopping for sex toys IRL to get a real sense of sizing, material, and feel of your soon-to-be sex toy. Moreso, female-friendly, brick-and-mortar stores that boast well-trained sex educators are well-worth the extra time and money spent as they can offer customized advice, considerations, and sex toy education unavailable on the Internet.

This can be geographically or financially difficult for many. If you can’t unplug from the Internet to buy your butt plug and you’re (rightfully) skeptical about size, take the website’s measurements of the toy and compare it either to a toy you have at home or 1-3 of your fingers, noting that firmer toy materials (like the stainless steel Njoys) have less give and therefore will feel bigger inside of your body/booty.

Do read reviews about quality but don’t solely depend on reviews about quantity: everyone is different and one person’s mindblowing multiorgasmic experience with a particular sex toy doesn’t mean you’ll be similarly exploding. Instead, buy based on material, shape, vendor and pleasure principles.

As a former brick-and-mortar sex toy salesperson myself, I’m familiar with both the Tantus Little Flirt (LF) and the Njoy plugs. Both are great beginner butt plugs. Both are made of body-safe and easy-to-clean materials (both can be disinfected with soap and water or via 3 minutes of boiling). The Njoy boasts some key differences: being made of stainless steel and being curved in shape (while the LF is straight and narrow in shape).

Being made of stainless steel means that not only will these shiny butt toys attract the anal sex-loving magpies in your life, but they’ll also feel bigger than your silicone LF. So, instead of sizing up, you may actually want to size down.

Stainless steel is also heavier: a pro and a con, depending on your anatomy. For you, male-bodied dude with a prostate, the heavier, curved qualities of the Njoy are poised to apply pleasurable pressure to your prostate.

For your ladyfriend, a heavier butt plug adds sensation but if you intend to play with double-penetration (as in penis-in-vagina and Njoy-in-butt), it may get in the way. The vaginal canal and the anal canal are close neighbors who share a thin wall so depending on your body types and positioning, you may be able to feel the hefty Njoy through the vaginal canal. This might be an awesome, naughty reminder of what’s going on back there or could add uncomfortable bump to your grind. Try switching positions.

Plugs pop out mid-romp because your pelvic floor is orgasmically contracting combined with the fact that your butthole is trained as an exit. The curved shape of the Njoy, however, is ergonomically designed to fit the natural curve of your rectum while it’s narrow neck gives your sphincter muscle something to hold onto so it’ll stay put.

And now for a different kind of butt plug (har har): If you’re local and want more info on anal sex and toys, check out my upcoming class, Backdoor Exploring: Beginners Anal Sex for All happening in Northampton, Aug. 23, 6-8 p.m. Details and tickets on•

Yana Tallon-Hicks

Author: Yana Tallon-Hicks

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