Couple Seeking Toyfriend


Straight guy here in a monogamous relationship. We’re looking to add some toys to our routine and would love to hear your opinions and suggestions on items that we could use together. We’ve been eyeballing the Oden 2 from Lelo [a vibrating, rechargeable, remote-controlled cockring priced around $180], but have no idea if it’s worth the investment. Maybe there are simpler, more cost-effective ways to start?

If I had a dime for every question I got about “couples’ toys”, I’d be able to buy you 100 Oden 2s from Lelo. I wouldn’t though, because it would probably be a waste of my money, but we’ll get to that in a minute. I totally get it: Trying to find a sex toy that physically pleases everyone simultaneously is worth searching for. The efficiency! The cost-effectiveness! The false reassurance that everyone’s needs are getting met!

When people say “couples’ toys” what they tend to mean is a toy that is actively stimulating both partners during sex and by “both” partners we tend to mean one woman and one man and by “during sex” we tend to mean penis-in-vagina. Really though, all sex toys have the ability to be “couples’ toys” based on the basic concept that being present while your partner gets his or her rocks off is also sexually pleasing to you.

Looking at it this way, CST, your options are wide open for your new couples’ toy. You could get my newest personal sex toy acquisition, the wireless, rechargeable, multi-setting Magic Wand. For a good time, hold that truly magical wand to her clit while she rides you. You could also invest in a beautiful stainless-steel Njoy anal plug to be used in either one of your tushies. Or you could get my other new favorite sex toy, the Tantus Plunge Paddle which is made of 100 percent silicone for a hefty thwap and the handle doubles as an insertable dildo (What?!?! Awesome!). If you like whacking your babe’s booty ’til it bruises and she likes it, too, then you’ve got yourself another couples’ toy.

You’re definitely onto something, though, with your attraction to a vibrating cockring (a stretchy ring designed to wrap around the base of the penis) like the Lelo Oden 2. These toys fit the “couples’ toys” bill as they give a little something to both partners simultaneously. The ring applies pressure to the penis shaft and directs blood-flow towards a stronger, longer erection. The vibrator is positioned to stimulate the clitoris during penetration or can be flipped around to vibrate a man’s testicles. Vibrating rings can also be worn over dildos or wrapped around fingers.

I usually love Lelo’s products, but this ring doesn’t set off my bells. First of all, the ring itself is less like a ring and more like the end of a pig’s tail — a loosely-fitting curlicue that doesn’t stay put and certainly doesn’t encourage anyone’s erection.

Secondly, it’s remote control and boasts a “sensemotion mode” that allows you to control the setting of the toy simply by tilting the remote; kind of like the Apple Watch of sex toys.

Thirdly, not all couples respond positively to vibrating rings: Most women require consistent vibration to orgasm and a ring’s vibration fades in and out with your thrusts. The vibration offered by rings isn’t typically strong, and some guys find it to be dickstracting.

If you want to put a ring on it and want the luxury of Lelo, others like the Lelo Tor II or the JeJoue Mio are better options and give beginners what they need — a flexible ring that’ll adjust to your member’s measurements, a variety of vibration speeds and patterns, and more ergonomic designs for her clitoral pleasure.

Or, you could diversify your funds and your fun by getting starter rings like Wabbit Ring or Primo Tux Ring (both under $40) and use the rest for a wireless Magic Wand. (Just sayin’.)•

Yana Tallon-Hicks is a pleasure-positive sex educator and writer. Contact her at; IG, the_vspot; Facebook, yanaannetallonhicks; Twitter, @the_valleyvspot.

Kristin Palpini

Author: Kristin Palpini

Editor of the Valley Advocate

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