My fiancée and I just realized that we have sex, sure, but we’ve never talked about what we really wanted in sex. Toys came up and we tried my Mini Rabbit vibrator and we love it. We’ve both tried strap-ons before and neither she nor I really like them, but we do like the thought of penetrating each other. I’ve Googled and Googled dual penetrating vibes, but I’m coming up with vaginal-and-anal instead of vaginal penetration for two ladies. We like the idea of the We-Vibe, but want it to be more — just bigger, maybe? What do you suggest?
It’s definitely a penis-penetrates-vagina world out there when it comes to commercialized concepts of what sex should look like, so I’m not surprised that you and your fiancée are coming up short-and-stumpy when seeking out a doubly-vaginally-penetrating sex toy.
When Googling “couples sex toys,” you’re probably saturated with those geared towards penis-in-vagina such as the We-Vibe. This nifty little C-shaped sucker is specially designed to be “worn” during vaginal penetration; one side is inserted in the vagina, resting against the G-spot, and the other side sits outside the body, vibrating against the clitoris. The idea is that the internal side is so svelte, it can accommodate vaginal penetration by allowing whatever object is doing the penetrating to slip underneath it. It’s a great idea that doesn’t work for everyone’s individual body types, as not all C-shaped vibes fit every person’s C-spots and G-spots.
But you’re looking for a little more bone and a little less buzz. If you want to have two steamy, sleek steel trains pull into your love tunnels at Penetration Station, then what you want is a double-ended dildo.
Double-ended dildos are essentially two dildos fused together to make one dually-penetrating toy and are intended to be used hands-free and without strap-on harnesses. They’re great for your particular vagina set-up and are also perfectly suited for “pegging” (when someone with a vagina penetrates someone anally with a strap-on dildo). But you don’t want just any ol’ double-ender.
Most double-ended dildos aren’t ergonomic. One common design comes in the form of a long, straight dildo with two heads, like your vaginas are freakin’ abacus beads just dying to be counted. The other common — and better — rendition has the toy bent into a V-shape. What you want is a double-ended dildo bent into a V-shape but with one end shorter than the other (like a “check-mark” shape) so one person can “wear” the short, bulbous end inside their vagina while penetrating their partner with the other side.
My favorite is the Union by Wet for Her. With a bendable-yet-sturdy copper wire in the center of the toy, Wet for Her has done what they claim to do: “redesigning strapless sex.” This copper wire, which bends into place easily but also keeps its shape, makes both sides of the Union customizable to each partner’s body and unique pleasure particularities. Bonus: the strong multispeed vibrator in the base of the toy adds a clitoral buzz. Other decent double-D designs are the Share by Fun Factory and the Nexus by Vixen, both of which come in a variety of sizes and colors.
No matter which double-ender you choose, most assume that everyone is doing their Kegel exercises religiously enough to hold up the weight of a considerable dildo, then have successful penetrative sex with it. A tall order, in my (apparently weak) vagina’s humble opinion.
So, heed some final tips. First, have the person wearing the bulbous end lay on their back so gravity works in your favor to hold up the longer (and heavier) penetrative end and the receptive partner has control of depth, angle, and speed.
Second, remember that there are no Olympic sex judges lurking in your bedroom, waiting to score your performance in the strapless dildo sex category. If your Kegels need to buckle in favor of better bucking, all V-shaped double-ended dildos are easily harnessable, too.•
Yanna Tallon-Hicks is a pleasure-positive sex educator and writer living in the Pioneer Valley. She has a website bursting with sex advice, workshops, and resources at yannatallonhicks.com.
