Wow, Congrats — That’s Bad

The past decade has seen a rise in fascination with that dumbest of American cultural artifacts: the ugly knit holiday sweater. The stray relative still cranks out a genuine one from time to time, but companies now mass produce them, and ugly sweater parties — even ugly sweater competitions — are now wonderfully, horribly commonplace. Even Ghostface Killah is selling a special limited edition ugly sweater on his website, which features his signature hockey mask wearing a Santa hat and a whole middle section that looks like Wu-Tang Clan. It costs $90. Is this evidence of our nation’s sense of good humor, or a harbinger of the fall of America? Probably both. Until then, get one (if you don’t have one), take a walk, and make some new friends with similarly poor taste. It’s the holiday way.

Ugly Sweater Parties: Unavoidable. Free admission; may cost you some social standing. Message us on Facebook with a photo of you in your ugliest sweater for a chance to win a holiday prize.

— Hunter Styles