Missed Connections: Nice Gnome, Baby

The Missed Connections forum on Craigslist is a wasteland of terrible poetry, dick pics, and whining, but among the detritus are some truly fascinating, funny, and occasionally sweet entries. The following are highlights from the Western Mass Missed Connections forum, sans detritus.

Walmart lawn and garden – w4m (Westfield)

To the man in line behind me with the poop, dirt, and gnome. Very nice looking. Would like to chat.  April 21, 2017

Sorry for Pontiac — m4w (Ludlow)

I miss you. I Freaked out on my sons car. Your husband didn’t even know were you where. I Love your kitty contact me.. April 25, 2017

 

I flashed you on the highway. — w4m

We drove next to each other for a while. I had my tits out. I made sure you noticed me playing with that. We got off at the same exit and I followed you to the gas station. I politely declined your offer. I was really going to my boyfriend’s house, and I was already late. But I did want to fuck you in your office. If this is you, and you’re seriously interested, we can meet up. I was just pretty tied up today. I’ll know it’s you if you can tell me what you were driving and what exit we got off at. April 27, 2017

 

‘C/chic — m4w (Chicopee)

We meet 15 yrs ago threw your old baby daddy in w.s,I always thought u was beatiful and sexy,had a vibe u was feeling me but it was a respect thing,but you been broke up over 10yrs ,I see u at pride and boys club but don’t nothing, dam u look good, hmu let’s see what happens, shhhhhhhh April 25, 2017’

 

Ivie at Dunkin — m4w (Chicopee)

I see you everyday when my ride to work stops and gets a coffee. Om always in the passenger seat. She always order the same thing around 2pm everyday. I want to ask you out for a drink. But im to afraid that you might have a bf or might be creeped out by it. If you see this and are interested. Say hello im in the ford explorer lg hazelnut extra extra April 25, 2017

 

K. and her Smurf sister — m4w (Whatey)

Just wanted to let you know that I had a great time that night. Thanks. When you asked what I was doing later I should have said, you. I took your suggestion and hit the diner. You were right, I did meet up with a cast of characters there. Hopefully you see this. Let me know where we were or what I was wearing. I loved your kicks by the way. April 24, 2017

Young blonde at baconfest — m4w (Holyoke)

We were outside and we made eye contact n smiled… u were w. Your friend and I was with 2 of mine. You were wearing a black dress… lookin mighty fine in it too. I was too nervous to say hi, but your very beautiful April 23, 2017

 

4/22 Pike — w4m (Ludlow/Palmer)

You were in a commercial vehicle, white Kia Soul. You passed me we locked eyes. Then, I passed you and we locked eyes again. I was hoping you’d follow me off my exit, but you continued. You are adorable. Hoping in an off chance you’ll see this and respond. April 22, 2017

 

Nike Jacket — m4m (Pittsfield)

I thought of you today when I was doing a sweep for Goodwill and saw the Nike jacket you left behind the last time we met. I did not give it away in hopes you come calling for it. April 21, 2017

 

Ahh! pretty people! — mw4w (Downtown northampton)

We’re four students, two guys and two girls. The tallest guy was in the front and you almost walked into him, except it was kinda his fault, since he was looking at his phone. He looked up just in time, before you shouted “Aah! Pretty people!” We kept walking and laughed at probably an unnecessary volume. We regret not turning around and talking to you immediately, but we each want to thank you for giving us a wave of confidence that will last for months. If you want to talk, we’re all happy to meet you. April 20, 2017

 

Advocate Staff

Author: Advocate Staff

Editor of the Valley Advocate

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