Western Mass Missed Connections — 1st dates SUCK

The Missed Connections forum on Craigslist is a wasteland of terrible poetry, dick pics, and whining, but among the detritus are some truly fascinating, funny, and occasionally sweet entries. The following are highlights from the Western Mass Missed Connections forum, sans detritus.

1st dates SUCK — m4w (eastside grill)

Yeah, I texted you too soon after it ended. I seemed desperate probably. Whatever. I just thought you were cool and i’m not really up on 1st date protocol.

To be honest, all I could think of was how damn good that grilled cheese sandwich looked on the table next to us. It was so thick and had like 4 kinds of cheese in it and was melted just right. OMG …. i just wanted to slather it with mayonnaise and fuck it and then devour it and order 5 more! So when i texted you, or emailed you, i forget, as soon as i got home i was probably trying to make up for my lack of focus on you. But i did like you!

So if you don’t respond to this then maybe theres some other single woman out there who loves grilled cheese sandwiches! July 18, 2017

where are you A? — m4w (ADAMS)

had a nice email conversation back and forth about meeting up to hang out with me and a friend? if you’re out there and reading this we are BOTH very interested in you, but you’ve kinda disappeared. get back to me? July 20, 2017

Tattoos — w4m (King St.)

To the younger tattooed guy walking on king street today around 10:45am: you’re some kind of dreamy!d July 20, 2017

never got over the Melissa Etheridge song you sang to me — m4w (North Adams)

Chat with me for a bit. I know you feel the same. I know this is real! It’s ok. I love you July 19, 2017

I was your server tonight — m4w (Amherst)

You wore a vibrant multi-color skirt and dined with two others toward the back of the restaurant. We were clearly checking each other out; my co-worker even told me she caught you staring me up and down. I haven’t been so turned on by the mere sight of someone in a long, long time. If by some stroke of cosmic benevolence you read this, we must meet. July 19, 2017

Chicopee Stop and Shop at 4 pm — m4m (Chicopee)

If you are one of the five great looking guys I saw and made eye contact with today, shoot me an email. You were all in you 20s to early 30s. Tell me what I was wearing, and I’ll know it’s one of you. This was 18 July from 4 to 4:15 July 18, 2017

Chicopee Price Rite 7/18 — m4m (Chicopee MA)

Cute guy about 20, tank, shorts, shopping with a young lady, but you were definitely checking me out. Let’s chat! How was I dressed/ what was I carrying? July 18, 2017

J/Green River Fest — m4w

We spoke at the in the big tent, lower field. I’m your neighbor from Nashua 🙂 You made an incredible impression. July 17, 2018

T. — m4w

Instead of hating eachother do you want to hang out or something? Let me know. Smoke maybe? July 17, 2017

Lilly the dog, on the river, Sunday afternoon, cornfield x from island — m4w (northampton)

Murphy says he is very sorry for starting the fight. He said he really likes Lilly and wants to play with her again July 16, 2017

You work at the butcher counter — t4m (Millstone)

I’ve seen you twice now, and each time I leave I’m stuck remembering how cute you are. I’m the 5’6″ gender-ambiguous person who doesn’t know how to ask for meat; you’re a couple inches taller than me, with trimmed facial hair and a nice smile. I haven’t said anything because it wouldn’t be kind to do so when you’re working. Drop me a line if you’d like to talk? July 15, 2017

J. at the Window on a Rainy Evening — m4m (Easthampton)

J., you’ve got to be the sweetest guy I know. If you still have that little white sticker on which you wrote my name and number tonight, perhaps you’ll give me a call some time. — bg July 14, 2017

E. from the Senior Center who get the clam chowder at Zen’s … — w4m (Pittsfield)

My Mom misses your friendship. You are our favorite customer. Come back — we still have clam chowder! July 14, 2017

Compiled By Kristin Palpini

Author: Compiled By Kristin Palpini

Editor of the Valley Advocate

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