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Gettin' Freaky Geeky

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Thursday, November 24, 2011

Get your gamer off the couch and into the sack with LELO's new SenseMotion remote-controlled line of technologically titillating toys. Always fancy-shmancy and rechargeable, the ever-popular Swedish designers of LELO have really shaken things up this time by adding their signature sophistication to the same motion-sensing technology found in a Nintendo Wii controller.

No, you don't need to adjust the prescription in your extra-large hipster frames, you read it right! LELO's three new SenseMotion vibrators let you dictate the speed and intensity of their buzz with a flick of your well-trained Wii Tennis wrist.

Each attractive, expertly designed, pornish-named vibrator—Lyla, Oden or Tiani—is controlled by a round, shiny remote with three different SenseMotion control modes. In Mode #1, simply tilt the remote from horizontal to vertical to increase your partner's vibration sensation. Really rattle things in Mode #2, which has the vibrator mimicking however the remote shakes or spins. Or, if things get too hot 'n' heavy to focus on what your hands are doing, switch to manual mode, which takes you through six pre-programmed pulsations.

Giving you more buzz for your buck and keeping everyone in the loop, the remote control also vibrates, giving you essentially two vibrators in one, so you can feel exactly what your partner feels. Creative kinksters will be inspired to find new ways to hold the controller.

Each unique toy design—Lyla, Oden or Tiani—gives couples a new way to add some hands-free zing to their favorite XXX-rated activity.

Lyla is a new twist on the basic egg-vibrator. She can be used as a compact clitoral toy or, with her subtle curved shape, inserted for G-spot stimulation. Oden is a strapping young fellow meant to be strapped to your young fellow, either flesh and blood or silicone. Essentially an egg vibe with an adjustable loop attached, Oden goes around the base of a toy or penis to act as a souped-up vibrating ring to bring clitoral or testicular stimulation to penetrative sex.

Last but hardly least, Tiani steals the show (and possibly another company's ideas) by mimicking a certain C-shaped design originally made famous by We-Vibe, which, tragically, is set to release a new remote-controlled rendition of their own later this year, just a few months too late.

Sex toy industry professionals wonder: did We-Vibe's patent run out? Are the LELO owners sneaky little Swedes with no conscience? Who cares!? Because LELO's improvements on the design simply make for a better toy.

The design in question is a narrow C-shape with one end of the C inserted vaginally while the other rests externally against the clitoris, gently "clipping" onto the vaginal opening to add hands-free vibration internally and externally while still leaving space for vaginal penetration. While the original We-Vibe was also rechargeable, waterproof and came packed with a variety of pulsations, it was clunky and manually controlled by a button that was impossible to find.

LELO's Tiani is the We-Vibe's much hotter cousin. She's more compact, extra svelte (especially on the internal end, leaving more space for penetration), and, like her LELO-born siblings Oden and Lyla, SenseMotion remote-controlled. This toy is sexy. So get on her before LELO gets sued.

Besides being partially rechargeable (the remotes take batteries) and waterproof, Lyla, Oden and Tiani are all discrete toys with a 39-foot range, so you can keep your nerd alert in an endless number of sexy scenarios. Make Comic-Con cool again; score some extra points at the unveiling of a new gaming system; rock her while she eats her Top Ramen; or really beam him up at the next Trekky potluck!

Just cross your Vulcan-saluting fingers that everyone else isn't vibing with the same toy at the same time because these new LELO toys' kryptonite is that their remotes can get their wires crossed.

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