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Mad Scientists Hate Your G-Spot

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Thursday, February 16, 2012

On January 19th, HuffingtonPost.com published an article titled "G-Spot Does Not Exist 'Without a Doubt,' Say Researchers" in which Dr. Amichai Kilchevsky told me that my G-Spot isn't real—clearly, an idiotic thing to say.

"Many women swear they have one," says the Huffington Post, "but a new review of 60 years of sex research shows science still can't definitively find the G-spot. 'Without a doubt, a discreet anatomic entity called the G-spot does not exist,' said Dr. Amichai Kilchevsky, a urology resident [aka. "student"] at Yale-New Haven Hospital in Connecticut."

Eureka, Dr. Kill-everyone's-sexual-hopes-and-dreams! You couldn't find a tiny orgasm switch inside of the vagina? Finally, the mystery of the elusive G-spot is solved! Is that applause I hear?

I was once a student, too. Not at Yale, of course, but I actually studied sexuality. Also, Mr. Killjoy, I happen to have lady parts, including a G-Spot! I am, however, really sorry for you (and your sexual partners, assuming they're ladies) that y'all can't find it. Let me help you.

No, the G-spot is not an "anatomic entity" that you can snap a picture of. It's a ring of spongy erectile tissue surrounding the urethral opening that's located within the first two thirds of the vaginal canal's upper wall (towards the belly button). It's not a button, but a general area that's different in every vagina. It responds well to pressure and is easier to find post-foreplay as it swells with arousal. However, it can be hard to reach without the help of a partner or toy and a penis is not always the best tool for the job. Did you try foreplay, Doctor? It's that thing you do before you stick your p-p in the v-v.

To be fair, "Kilchevsky conceded the work is not '1,000 percent conclusive,' allowing that other scientists could one day find something his team missed. But they would need new technology to do it, he said." Maybe he should look to "other scientists" such as actual sexologists like Tristan Taormino or Deborah Sundahl who've been writing about (and finding) the G-spot for years! I recommend Taormino's new book Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation or Sundahl's Female Ejaculation and The G-Spot.

While having some ladies attempt to find their own G-spots in a lab machine does sound like flawless G-Spot-finding technology, maybe they should try using the "new technology" of—gasp!—sex toys. The G-spot is almost impossible to find solo as it requires some reach. Toys with curvature that you can apply some pressure with are ideal—try the G-Ki G-spot Vibe by Je Joue, Lelo's GiGi or, the Njoy Pure Wand, the mac-daddy of all G-spot finders, packing 1.5 pounds of stainless steel spot-hitting "technology" that's been lauded by countless sex writers as the G-spot toy to beat—a toy that Dr. Kilchevsky somehow missed. It's called a sex column, Doc—read one.

But Kilchevsky is just trying to help! "Ultimately, Kilchevsky said he hopes his conclusions support women who worry they can't find the G-spot at home. 'Women who can't achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration don't have anything wrong with them,' he said."

How sweet! Your conclusions that our G-spots don't actually exist, despite the millions of women whose actual experience says otherwise, really make us feel better. Only 35 percent of women can orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, without clitoral stimulation. Not all women respond to or enjoy G-spot stimulation, nor do all orgasm from it. No, women who can't get "there" through vaginal penetration alone don't have anything wrong with them. The dufuses who continue to believe that the old in-and-out is the way to achieve female orgasm do, as do so-called "scientists" who, because they can't get their ladies off with their lab-coat-wearing penises, assume that her G-spot mustn't be real.

Your G-spot exists! Read past columns "OMG-Spot" and "The Immaculate Female Ejaculate" to continue your search. As for you, Dr. K—take me out to a nice dinner and maybe I'll bring over an Njoy wand and some towels and show you some of that new technology you've been looking for. Bring your goggles.

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