Why waste all those contortionist positions, screaming orgasms and impressive tricks you've got up your... sleeve... on your boring old partner (and free-of-charge!) when you could share it with the world (for pay!)?
Doesn't reading about "feminist porn" in this column every month make you want to make some of your very own?
Yes—I am absolutely encouraging you to make porn. But not just any porn: the feminist kind. If you're a loyal V-Spot reader, you already know about feminist porn. If not, the long of it can be found here ("Feminist Porn," May 5, 2011) but the short of it is all about authenticity —real people with real bodies showing us their real, chemistry-packed sex featuring real orgasms, in the hopes that it'll really get us off.
Female XXX directors like Tristan Taormino (PuckerUp.com), Courtney Trouble (NoFauxxx.com), Joanna Angel (Burning Angel.com), Shine Louise Houston (PinkWhiteBiz.com), Madison Young (MadisonBound.com) and their talented performers all make starring in porn look so consensual, safe, hot and fun that curious exhibitionists, adventurous couples and even feminist-majoring graduate students are all asking me how to join the pornographic party.
First, stop mentally preparing yourself to go into a creepster's basement to "audition with the director." Sick. The audition process for these feminist porn sites is safe, consensual, tailored to your preferences and freakishly normal.
On the site, you'll find a model application requesting your basic information and some (usually nude) snapshots.The better sites will also ask about your performance preferences—how do you identify your sexuality? What kind of sex do you want to model? Do you want to use sex toys? Would you like to perform solo, with your real-life partner, or with a known star? Can you female-ejaculate? Tie a rope like a sailor? Fist your girlfriend? Now's the time to brag about it!
Don't check every application box. Feminist porn thrives on diversity in both casting and sex acts, so be honest about what you're comfortable doing on camera. These directors are open to it all—straight, queer and trans performers doing it all, from a vanilla masturbation scene to a kinkster's paradise of whips and orgies. Besides, your on-screen comfort level isn't just about you—nobody wants to watch awkward porn.
Sample each director's porn to determine which is moaning your name. Pink & White Productions (of Crash Pad Series fame) and NoFauxxx.com require travel to San Francisco. They both seek diverse casting and are extremely GLBTQ-friendly. Madison Young is seeking female performers for two new projects: FemFist.com, a new site dedicated to fisting pros (nudge, nudge, Westie Wonder) and TheWomansPOV.com, which will feature girl-on-girl home videos filmed from a first-person perspective.
BurningAngel.com is a straight- and gay-friendly punk porn empire. Not only is it accepting submissions for XXX-rated videos and photos, but you can send your music clips to JoJo.BurningAngel@gmail.com to debut your very own bow-chicka-bowow soundtrack.
If you'd rather see a closeup of your vagina on the big screen for one night only, you can make your Freudian dreams come true by submitting to any one of these awesome amateur porn festivals:
The Petra Joy Awards (joyawards.com) is accepting erotic short films by aspiring female filmmakers until August 31.
HUMP! (slog.thestranger.com) wants strangers to judge your five-minute raunchy reels. Selected competitors will be screened in Seattle, Portland and Olympia in November before being destroyed. Maybe you'll win a cash prize. Maybe your old boss will see your rear entrance up close. Anything (legal) goes and anything could happen. Just submit by October 5.
Good Vibrations' (gv-ixff.org) indie fest The Quickies gives you less than seven minutes to get off and pays out a $1,500 first prize. The June deadline has, sadly, passed, so look out for next year's.
Lastly, you probably won't get rich starring in feminist porn. But with its promotion of performer safety and authentic sexual pleasure, you'll probably get off trying.