Free Will Astrology: Emily Dickinson Knows The Size of Aquarius Brains
Sep18

Free Will Astrology: Emily Dickinson Knows The Size of Aquarius Brains

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Psychologists say most people need a scapegoat — a personification of wickedness and ignorance onto which they can project the unacknowledged darkness in their own hearts. That’s the bad news. Here’s the good news: The coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to neutralize that reflex and at least partially divest yourself of the need for scapegoats. How? The first thing to do is identify your own...

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Free Will Astrology: Move Forward Like An Emu, Aries
Sep11

Free Will Astrology: Move Forward Like An Emu, Aries

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Two animals are pictured prominently on Australia’s coat of arms: the kangaroo and the large flightless bird known as the emu. One of the reasons they were chosen is that both creatures rarely walk backward. They move forward or not at all. Australia’s founders wanted this to symbolize the nation’s pledge to never look back, to remain focused on advancing toward the future. The coming weeks will be a...

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Free Will Astrology: Leo, Eating The Buddha’s Snot Is Good Luck
Sep05

Free Will Astrology: Leo, Eating The Buddha’s Snot Is Good Luck

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You’re half-intoxicated by your puzzling adventures — and half-bewildered, as well. Sometimes you’re spinning out fancy moves, sweet tricks, and surprising gambits. On other occasions you’re stumbling and bumbling and mumbling. Are you really going to keep up this rhythm? I hope so, because your persistence in navigating through the challenging fun could generate big rewards. Like what, for example? Like the...

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Free Will Astrology: Capricorn: Be Improbable Like Oscar Wilde
Aug28

Free Will Astrology: Capricorn: Be Improbable Like Oscar Wilde

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “We are continually faced by great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems,” said businessman Lee Iacocca. You are currently wrestling with an example of this phenomenon, Aries. The camouflage is well-rendered. To expose the opportunity hidden beneath the apparent dilemma, you may have to be more strategic and less straightforward than you usually are — cagier and not as blunt. Can you...

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Free Will Astrology: Sensitive Swashbuckler Sagittarius
Aug21

Free Will Astrology: Sensitive Swashbuckler Sagittarius

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Welcome to Swami Moonflower’s Psychic Hygiene Hints. Ready for some mystical cleansing? Hint #1: To remove stains on your attitude, use a blend of Chardonnay wine, tears from a cathartic crying session, and dew collected before dawn. Hint #2: To eliminate glitches in your love life, polish your erogenous zones with pomegranate juice while you visualize the goddess kissing your cheek. #3: To get rid of...

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Free Will Astrology: Lay Off Metaphorical Bombing Campaigns, Scorpio
Aug14

Free Will Astrology: Lay Off Metaphorical Bombing Campaigns, Scorpio

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “To disobey in order to take action is the byword of all creative spirits,” said philosopher Gaston Bachelard. This mischievous advice is perfect for your use right now, Aries. I believe you’ll thrive through the practice of ingenious rebellion — never in service to your pride, but always to feed your soul’s lust for deeper, wilder life. Here’s more from Bachelard: “Autonomy comes through many small...

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Free Will Astrology: Believe In Woo-Woo, Juju, Mojo
Aug07

Free Will Astrology: Believe In Woo-Woo, Juju, Mojo

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I hope you’re making wise use of the surging fertility that has been coursing through you. Maybe you’ve been reinventing a long-term relationship that needed creative tinkering. Perhaps you have been hammering together an innovative business deal or generating new material for your artistic practice. It’s possible you have discovered how to express feelings and ideas that have been half-mute or inaccessible...

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Free Will Astrology: Love Is Your Gritty But Sacred Duty
Jul31

Free Will Astrology: Love Is Your Gritty But Sacred Duty

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In my astrological opinion, your life in the coming days should draw inspiration from the ancient Roman festival of Saturnalia, a six-day bout of revelry that encouraged everyone to indulge in pleasure, speak freely, and give gifts. Your imminent future could (and I believe should) also have resemblances to the yearly Doo Dah Parade in Pasadena, which features a farcical cavalcade of lunatics, like the...

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Free Will Astrology: Libra, You’re Nobler and Sparklier Than the Rest of Us
Jul24

Free Will Astrology: Libra, You’re Nobler and Sparklier Than the Rest of Us

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Are you feeling as daring about romance as I suspect? If so, I’ve composed a provocative note for you to give to anyone you have good reason to believe will be glad to receive it. Feel free to copy it word-for-word or edit it to suit your needs. Here it is: “I want to be your open-hearted explorer. Want to be mine? We can be in foolishly cool drooling devotion to each other’s mighty love power. We can be in...

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Free Will Astrology:Strawberry Is Your Power Fruit, Pisces
Jul17

Free Will Astrology:Strawberry Is Your Power Fruit, Pisces

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The Greek word philokalia is translated as the “love of the beautiful, the exalted, the excellent.” I propose that we make it your keyword for the next three weeks — the theme you keep at the forefront of your awareness everywhere you go. But think a while before you say yes to my invitation. To commit yourself to being so relentlessly in quest of the sublime would be a demanding job. Are you truly prepared...

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Leo, Press 3 For Fresh Inspiration
Jul10

Leo, Press 3 For Fresh Inspiration

ARIES (March 21-April 19): It’s not your birthday, but I feel like you need to get presents. The astrological omens agree with me. In fact, they suggest you should show people this horoscope to motivate them to do the right thing and shower you with practical blessings. And why exactly do you need these rewards? Here’s one reason: Now is a pivotal moment in the development of your own ability to give the unique gifts you have to give....

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Free Will Astrology: Make Fun Of Your Zealotry, Aquarius
Jul03

Free Will Astrology: Make Fun Of Your Zealotry, Aquarius

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Unless you were raised by a pack of feral raccoons or a fundamentalist cult, now is a perfect time to dive in to your second childhood. Is there a toy you wanted as a kid but never got? Buy it for yourself now! What were the delicious foods you craved back then? Eat them! Where were the special places you loved? Go there, or to spots that remind you of them. Who were the people you were excited to be with?...

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Free Will Astrology: The Tides Of Destiny Shouting For Scorpio
Jun26

Free Will Astrology: The Tides Of Destiny Shouting For Scorpio

ARIES (March 21-April 19): This is a perfect moment to create a new tradition, Aries. You intuitively know how to turn one of your recent breakthroughs into a good habit that will provide continuity and stability for a long time to come. You can make a permanent upgrade in your life by capitalizing on an accidental discovery you made during a spontaneous episode. It’s time, in other words, to convert the temporary assistance you...

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Free Will Astrology: Gemini: Take Advice From Virginia Woolf
Jun19

Free Will Astrology: Gemini: Take Advice From Virginia Woolf

ARIES (March 21-April 19): There are places in the oceans where the sea floor cracks open and spreads apart from volcanic activity. This allows geothermally heated water to vent out from deep inside the earth. Scientists explored such a place in the otherwise frigid waters around Antarctica. They were elated to find a “riot of life” living there, including previously unknown species of crabs, starfish, sea anemones, and barnacles....

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Free Will Astrology: Phone Reminders Will Help Taurus Actualize
Jun12

Free Will Astrology: Phone Reminders Will Help Taurus Actualize

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You have to admit that salt looks like sugar and sugar resembles salt. This isn’t usually a major problem, though. Mistakenly sprinkling sugar on your food when you thought you were adding salt won’t hurt you, nor will putting salt in your coffee when you assumed you were using sugar. But errors like these are inconvenient, and they can wreck a meal. You may want to apply this lesson as a metaphor in the...

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Free Will Astrology: More Bohr Than Einstein, Capricorn
Jun05

Free Will Astrology: More Bohr Than Einstein, Capricorn

ARIES (March 21-April 19): If you chose me as your relationship guide, I’d counsel you and your closest ally to be generous with each other; to look for the best in each other and praise each other’s beauty and strength. If you asked me to help foster your collaborative zeal, I’d encourage you to build a shrine in honor of your bond — an altar that would invoke the blessings of deities, nature spirits, and the ancestors. If you hired...

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Free Will Astrology: Aquarius, Red Is Your Color
May30

Free Will Astrology: Aquarius, Red Is Your Color

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Life is in the mood to communicate with you rather lyrically. Here are just a few of the signs and portents you may encounter, along with theories about their meaning. If you overhear a lullaby, it’s time to seek the influence of a tender, nurturing source. If you see a type of fruit or flower you don’t recognize, it means you have a buried potential you don’t know much about, and you’re ready to explore it...

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Free Will Astrology: Aries: Cultivate More Surprising and Original Sins
May22

Free Will Astrology: Aries: Cultivate More Surprising and Original Sins

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Sin” is a puerile concept in my eyes, so I don’t normally use it to discuss grown-up concerns. But if you give me permission to invoke it in a jokey, ironic way, I’ll recommend that you cultivate more surprising, interesting, and original sins. In other words, Aries, it’s high time to get bored with your predictable ways of stirring up a ruckus. Ask God or Life to bring you some really evocative mischief...

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Free Will Astrology: Gemini – Pack Your Decrepit Emotional Baggage in Garbage Bags
May15

Free Will Astrology: Gemini – Pack Your Decrepit Emotional Baggage in Garbage Bags

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “A two-year-old kid is like using a blender, but you don’t have a top for it,” said comedian Jerry Seinfeld. Would you like to avoid a scenario like that, Aries? Would you prefer not to see what happens if your life has resemblances to turning on a topless blender that’s full of ingredients? Yes? Then please find the top and put it on! And if you can’t locate the proper top, use a dinner plate or newspaper...

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Free Will Astrology: Leo – Dominate Your Emotions Like Oscar Wilde
May08

Free Will Astrology: Leo – Dominate Your Emotions Like Oscar Wilde

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The process by which Zoo Jeans are manufactured is unusual. First, workers wrap and secure sheets of denim around car tires or big rubber balls, and take their raw creations to the Kamine Zoo in Hitachi City, Japan. There the denim-swaddled objects are thrown into pits where tigers or lions live. As the beasts roughhouse with their toys, they rip holes in the cloth. Later, the material is retrieved and used...

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Free Will Astrology: Spit it out, Cancer!
May01

Free Will Astrology: Spit it out, Cancer!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Beware of feeling sorry for sharks that yell for help. Beware of trusting coyotes that act like sheep and sheep that act like coyotes. Beware of nibbling food from jars whose contents are different from what their labels suggest. But wait! “Beware” is not my only message for you. I have these additional announcements: Welcome interlopers if they’re humble and look you in the eyes. Learn all you can from...

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Free Will Astrology: Virgo, cook an omelet over Niagara gorge
Apr24

Free Will Astrology: Virgo, cook an omelet over Niagara gorge

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I have misgivings when I witness bears riding bicycles or tigers dancing on their hind legs or Aries people wielding diplomatic phrases and making careful compromises at committee meetings. While I am impressed by the disciplined expression of primal power, I worry for the soul of the creature that is behaving with such civilized restraint. So here’s my advice for you in the coming weeks: Take advantage of...

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Free Will Astrology: Aries be like Washington, Sagittarius like Lincoln
Apr18

Free Will Astrology: Aries be like Washington, Sagittarius like Lincoln

ARIES (March 21-April 19): After George Washington was elected as the first President of the United States, he had to move from his home in Virginia to New York City, which at the time was the center of the American government. But there was a problem: He didn’t have enough cash on hand to pay for his long-distance relocation, so he was forced to scrape up a loan. Fortunately, he was resourceful and persistent in doing so. The money...

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Free Will Astrology: When life gives Scorpios lemon rinds…
Apr10

Free Will Astrology: When life gives Scorpios lemon rinds…

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Before visiting Sicily for the first time, American poet Billy Collins learned to speak Italian. In his poem “By a Swimming Pool Outside Siracusa,” he describes how the new language is changing his perspective. If he were thinking in English, he might say that the gin he’s drinking while sitting alone in the evening light “has softened my mood.” But the newly “Italianized” part of his mind would prefer to...

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Free Will Astrology, April 6-12, 2017
Apr03

Free Will Astrology, April 6-12, 2017

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Be interested in first things, Aries. Cultivate your attraction to beginnings. Align yourself with uprisings and breakthroughs. Find out what’s about to hatch, and lend your support. Give your generous attention to potent innocence and novel sources of light. Marvel at people who are rediscovering the sparks that animated them when they first came into their power. Fantasize about being a curious seeker who...

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Free Will Astrology: March 30-April 5, 2017
Mar27

Free Will Astrology: March 30-April 5, 2017

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The dragon that stole your treasure will return it. Tulips and snapdragons will blossom in a field you thought was a wasteland. Gargoyles from the abyss will crawl into view, but then meekly lick your hand and reveal secrets you can really use. The dour troll that guards the bridge to the next big thing will let you pass even though you don’t have the password. April Fool! Everything I just described is only...

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Free Will Astrology: Feb. 23-March 1, 2017
Feb20

Free Will Astrology: Feb. 23-March 1, 2017

ARIES (March 21-April 19): My astrological radar suggests there’s a space-time anomaly looming just ahead of you. Is it a fun and exotic limbo where the rules are flexible and everything’s an experiment? That might be cool. Or is it more like an alien labyrinth where nothing is as it seems, you can hear howling in the distance, and you barely recognize yourself? That might be weird. What do you think? Is it worth the gamble? If so,...

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Astrology: Week of Feb. 16, 2017
Feb13

Astrology: Week of Feb. 16, 2017

ARIES (March 21-April 19): By my estimates, 72 percent of you Aries are in unusually good moods. The world seems friendlier, more cooperative. Fifty-six percent of you feel more in love with life than you have in a long time. You may even imagine that the birds and trees and stars are flirting with you. I’m also guessing that 14 percent of you are weaving in and out of being absurdly, deliriously happy, sometimes without any apparent...

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Astrology: Be like Calvin (not Hobbes)
Jan30

Astrology: Be like Calvin (not Hobbes)

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Once upon a time, Calvin of the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip made this bold declaration: “Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!” Given your current astrological aspects, Aries, I think you have every right to invoke that battle cry yourself. From what I can tell, there’s a party underway inside your head. And I’m pretty sure it’s a healthy bash, not a decadent debacle. The bliss it stirs up...

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Astrology: Leos should forgive all bad drivers and tech support people
Jan09

Astrology: Leos should forgive all bad drivers and tech support people

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In Norse mythology, Yggdrasil is a huge holy tree that links all of the nine worlds to each other. Perched on its uppermost branch is an eagle with a hawk sitting on its head. Far below, living near the roots, is a dragon. The hawk and eagle stay in touch with the dragon via Ratatoskr, a talkative squirrel that runs back and forth between the heights and the depths. Alas, Ratatoskr traffics solely in...

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Free Will Astrology: Jan. 5 – 11, 2017
Jan03

Free Will Astrology: Jan. 5 – 11, 2017

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Light, electricity, and magnetism are different expressions of a single phenomenon. Scottish scientist and mathematician James Clerk Maxwell (1831-1879) was the first to formulate a theory to explain that startling fact. One of the cornerstones of his work was a set of 20 equations with 20 unknowns. But a younger scientist named Oliver Heaviside decided this was much too complicated. He recast Maxwell’s...

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Free Will Astrology: Dec. 29, 2016 – Jan. 4, 2017
Dec27

Free Will Astrology: Dec. 29, 2016 – Jan. 4, 2017

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Donatello was a renowned Italian sculptor. His favorite piece was “Lo Zuccone,” a marble statue of the Biblical prophet Habakkuk. As Donatello carved his work-in-progress, he addressed it. “Speak, damn you! Talk to me,” he was heard to say on more than a few occasions. Did the stone respond? Judging from the beauty of the final product, I’d have to say yes. One art critic testified that “Lo Zuccone” is a...

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Free Will Astrology: Cancers, be more like William McKinley, less like William Jennings Bryan
Dec19

Free Will Astrology: Cancers, be more like William McKinley, less like William Jennings Bryan

ARIES (March 21-April 19): NPR’s Scott Simon interviewed jazz pianist and songwriter Robert Glasper, who has created nine albums, won a Grammy, and collaborated with a range of great musicians. Simon asked him if he had any frustrations — “grand ambitions” that people discouraged him from pursuing. Glasper said yes. He’d really like to compose and sing hip-hop rhymes. But his bandmates just won’t go along with him when he tries that...

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Astrology: Chunks of the Universe are growing larger for Sagittarius
Dec05

Astrology: Chunks of the Universe are growing larger for Sagittarius

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Normally, I cheer you on when you devote single-minded attention to pressing concerns — even if you become a bit obsessive. But right now, in accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to run wild and free as you sample lavish variety. It’s prime time to survey a spectrum of spicy, shiny, and feisty possibilities; to entertain a host of ticklish riddles rather than to insist on prosaic answers. You...

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Astrology: Taurus, look to Brian Eno for calm in high intensity storm
Nov21

Astrology: Taurus, look to Brian Eno for calm in high intensity storm

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Creative people are at greater risk,” said psychiatrist R. D. Laing, “Just as one who climbs a mountain is more at risk than one who walks along a village lane.” I bring this to your attention, Aries, because in the coming weeks you will have the potential to be abundantly creative, as well as extra imaginative, ingenious, and innovative. But I should also let you know that if you want to fulfill this...

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