Free Will Astrology: Advice from Kafka, Kahlo, and bodybuilder Kai Greene
Jul16

Free Will Astrology: Advice from Kafka, Kahlo, and bodybuilder Kai Greene

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic.” Whenever that quote appears on the Internet, it’s falsely attributed to painter Frida Kahlo. In fact, it was originally composed by poet Marty McConnell. In any case, I’ll recommend that you heed it in the coming weeks. You really do need to focus on associating with allies who see the mysterious and lyrical best in you. I will also suggest that you...

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Free Will Astrology: What’s the biggest lie in your life, Sagittarius?
Jul09

Free Will Astrology: What’s the biggest lie in your life, Sagittarius?

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your key theme right now is growth. Let’s dig in and analyze its nuances. 1.) Not all growth is good for you. It may stretch you too far too fast — beyond your capacity to integrate and use it. 2.) Some growth that is good for you doesn’t feel good to you. It might force you to transcend comforts that are making you stagnant, and that can be painful. 3.) Some growth that’s good for you may...

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Free Will Astrology: Listen to your hives, Aquarius
Jul02

Free Will Astrology: Listen to your hives, Aquarius

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Twentieth-century French novelist Marcel Proust described nineteenth-century novelist Gustave Flaubert as a trottoire roulant, or “rolling sidewalk”: plodding, toneless, droning. Meanwhile, critic Roger Shattuck compared Proust’s writing to an “electric generator” from which flows a “powerful current always ready to shock not only our morality but our very sense of humanity.” In the coming weeks, I encourage...

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Free Will Astrology: Even cigarette butts can be useful, Aquarius
Jun25

Free Will Astrology: Even cigarette butts can be useful, Aquarius

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your best ideas and soundest decisions will materialize as if by magic while you’re lounging around doing nothing in a worry-free environment. So please make sure you have an abundance of relaxed slack and unhurried grace. Treat yourself to record-setting levels of comfort and self-care. Do whatever’s necessary for you to feel as safe as you have ever felt. I realize these prescriptions might...

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Free Will Astrology: Scorpio, Go play outside for a while!
Jun18

Free Will Astrology: Scorpio, Go play outside for a while!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you have cosmic permission to enjoy extra helpings of waffles, crepes, pancakes, and blintzes. Eating additional pastries and doughnuts is also encouraged. Why? Because it’s high time for you to acquire more ballast. You need more gravitas and greater stability. You can’t afford to be top-heavy; you must be hard to knock over. If you would...

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