I happened by alternet.org yesterday and was forced to confront, once again, what I like to call the Amy Goodman Conundrum — named after the intrepid but unfortunately dowdy host of Democracy Now!. In truth, it’s only a conundrum for the small class of otherwise left-leaning people who think it’s a great deal of fun to brutally critique the aesthetic of left-wing activists.

Yes, I know that Amy G. (as she was known back in the day) made her name in radio, but her show is now broadcast on television every day, and she’s a public figure, and it seems like common sense that if you want to be a leader of the people, as she clearly does, you should present yourself in a way that’s appealing to people.

More to the point, I just can’t look at her without wanting to drape myself in gray and existentially dwell in the unalterable misery of the world. Why bother fighting for truth and justice when death is our lot in the end?

I don’t want you to color your hair, Amy. That wouldn’t be you. But maybe just some simple styling, and maybe some of that tinted moisturizer or whatever it is that the ladies wear to conceal the bags under their eyes. You don’t have to kick it Sex and the City-style or anything. There’s a whole world out there of upbeat, colorful, fair-trade Guatemalan clothing that’s been pre-approved by the Committee On Acceptable Fashion For Radical Left Activists (COAFFRLA).

Just sayin’