The Onion had a nice piece in a recent issue on the real problem with the feminist movement — it’s lack of manly know-how and access to the old boys’ club:
WASHINGTON—After decades spent battling gender discrimination and inequality in the workplace, the feminist movement underwent a high-level shake-up last month, when 53-year-old management consultant Peter "Buck" McGowan took over as new chief of the worldwide initiative for women’s rights.
… "All the feminist movement needed to do was bring on someone who had the balls to do something about this glass ceiling business," said McGowan, who quickly closed the 23.5 percent gender wage gap by "making a few calls to the big boys upstairs." "In the world of gender identity and empowered female sexuality, it’s all about who you know."
… "It’s about time," McGowan said upon returning from a golf game with several "network honchos" in which he brokered a deal to bring a variety of women’s sports to prime-time television. "These ladies should have brought me on years ago."
McGowan claimed that one of the main reasons the movement enjoyed so little success in the past was that the previous management was often too timid and passive and should have been much more results-focused.
"You can’t waste time pussyfooting around with protests and getting all emotional about a bunch of irrelevant details," McGowan said. "If you want to enjoy equal rights, you have to have a real man-to-man chat with the people in charge until you can hammer out some more equitable custody laws."
"And don’t get me started on how disorganized and scatterbrained their old fundraising methods were," McGowan added. "Let’s just say the movement never really had a head for numbers."
