We’re been on “vacation” on the fractionally-less exclusive of Massachusetts’ barrier islands. One might be excused for imagining lazy days whiled away in the sun before cocktails on the lanai, but this is not the case. When the indigent boarders are ripped out of their familiar surroundings and put into this beach suburb, it is harder for them to find things to do. They’re bored.
They can’t ride their bikes anywhere because one must get across thin roads with speeding cars to find a bike path. They can’t explore woods because there aren’t any nearby. The beach is great but they must be observed lest they drown, and we have to schlep them there.
So they fall back on Minecraft. We’re on vacation so screen time rules are a bit lax, but after several hours I become squirrely. On this year’s trip the weather has been less than perfect so beach time has been difficult. I decided on a hike with potential berry picking. Luckily nobody else thought of this so the parking lot at the trail head was empty and the berry bushes were full.
I realized, though, that we’d stumbled on a bit of a taxonomic head scratcher. I have for a long time divided blue/black, bush-grown berries in the Ericaceae family into two groups: blueberries and huckleberries. This was partly to justify the taste and color differences but also the crunchy seeds in the huckleberries. The distinction was based vaguely on botany, and partly on male answer syndrome (the need to answer questions whether you know the answer or not).
There are also the differences among high, low and rabbiteye blueberries as well as the wild vs. cultivated division. So what’s in a name? The blueberries are all in the vaccinium genus – they have white flowers, unnoticeable seeds and very apparent blossom scars. The term “huckleberry” is a bit vague. So much so that wikkipedia throws up its collective hands: “in North America the name was applied to a confusing range of different plants.” Fine, but really? It’s the state fruit of Idaho they haven’t legalized pot yet, there must be a way to get clarity.
In New England “huckleberry” generally refers to three different plants Gaylussacia Baccata ,G. frondosa. and G. bigeloviana. These are more frequently called black, blue and dwarf huckleberry for pretty obvious reasons. G. fondosa also goes by the best name ever: hairy dangleberry. Dangleberries have longer stems holding on to the fruit making them dangle. All three have pinkish purple flowers that look essentially like blueberry flowers, just a bit smaller. Both blueberries and huckleberries tend to grow together in poor acidic soils: one could be excused for mixing them up. We did and plopped them in a re-purposed plastic bag, at least the ones we didn’t eat. We toted these home and put them in pancakes the next morning. Then we rejoined the battle with the screen anew the next morning.
One final note, I have found that the most absurd names have generally already been taken by a group of musicians somewhere. I was not disappointed by Dangleberry. The Dangleberries are a very large band from Scotland that include two pipers, two guitarists, a bass player, a drummer and a singer. But, because they’re a traditional Scottish band they also have two djembe players and a man who plays a sirdu. You wouldn’t want to disappoint Rob Roy MacGregor.
