The Beta Test Post

Welcome beta-testers,

You are the proud, the few, the exclusive coterie of friends and associates of The Dexter (as I’ll henceforth be known) who’ve been given the rare opportunity to beta-test my new blog (pardon me, "The Dexter’s new blog").

There isn’t too much to work with so far, but The Dexter would encourage you to travel back in time to The Dexter’s first two posts — the controversial "bad feminist" post in particular — and comment on them as you see fit.

As well, you may want to discuss The Dexter’s latest column, "World War Thuh-ree," which discusses the end of the world as we know it and how The Dexter doesn’t feel fine. It ends with this series of postscripts:

p.s. So I just switched over to CNN–which isn’t easy, by the way, when you’ve set your V-chip to block all channels other than those that devote at least 10% of their airtime to chronicling the love lives of the former stars of That ’70s Show –and apparently Israel and Hezbollah are fighting a war that threatens to somehow drag us into war with Iran. How the hell did this happen?! I’m going back to bed (i.e. the TV in the bedroom, which gets only the direct feed from the E! channel).

p.p.s. Okay, I just went downstairs and peeked at CNN again because I wanted to confirm that those Israeli soldiers were really as rugged and good-looking as they seemed to be on first glance. Well, they are, but apparently some of them are getting killed, and are killing other people, and that’s just not good (even if it does give me a tingly kind of feeling like the one I got when James Van Der Beek led his squad of lovable galoots to the Texas state championships in Varsity Blues ). I know that I act like the world is just this big TV screen where everything that flits across it is just there for my amusement, but I don’t want actual people to kill each other. At least I don’t think I do, though I’m not sure.

p.d.i.d.d.y. Okay, I just accidentally watched Fox News for a few hours, and now I’m pretty sure that I do want actual people to actually kill each other as long as they’re not people I know. I suppose that makes me a terrible person who cares more about entertaining myself than the miserydeathdestruction blah blah blah. Whatever. As far I know a bomb hasn’t closed down my local Red Robin, and as I’ve always said, as long as I can get my Sauteed S’hroom Burger, "Loaded with fresh, plump, sauteed mushrooms, a hint of garlic-parmesan butter and topped with melted Swiss for that extra Mmmm," I’m a happy man. Lebanon can go screw itself.

p.n.a.c. Okay, I feel really guilty about that whole "Lebanon can go screw itself" thing. I like the Lebanese. They’ve always seemed like a classy people to me, and they don’t deserve what’s happening. Well, a few of them do, probably, but it’s not clear that the Israeli missiles can discriminate between the naughty and the nice. So I’ve decided I’m against the war, and against war in general. It makes me feel icky.

p.s. I’m going to stop with "The Dexter" thing. It’s funny, but The Manolo realized its funniness a few years ago, and The Dexter refuses to be derivative.

Author: Dear Dexter

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