Non-Missionary Accomplished

Missionary can be cozy, comfortable and just the uncomplicated, satisfying position you need after a long workday. Even if you are feeling the universal sexual urge to “mix it up,” it can seem like Mission Impossible to get out of Missionary. Well, you don’t need to disjoint your hips, develop the seemingly impossible upper-body strength to hold your lover up against a wall for more than 30 seconds or suspend from the ceiling a la Mr. Cruise to break “the usual” cycle. You can give your partner a different view of your dirty bits, a new sensation from a new pelvic angle and a tasty non-Missionary treat every day of the week with these seven easy positions.

While Cosmo may exclusively talk about sex positions in terms of where “he” is in relation to “her,” I don’t like to assume who you’re bleeping. The positions I’m talking about work for almost all penetrative objects (penises, dildos or otherwise) and usually work for both anal and vaginal penetration. For ease of conversation here, I’ll be using ye old sex/baseball analogies “Pitcher” (the giver/penetrator) and “Catcher” (the receiver/enjoying penetration) for my sexual position counterparts.

1. The Fresh Squeeze: Catcher can lie belly-down or -up for this one. The key is that he/she clenches his/her legs together with ankles crossed. Pitcher then lies flat on top of Catcher, providing lots of intimate body contact and hickey-giving opportunities. Catcher’s leg-squeezing not only tightens some key internal alleyways, but also allows for some great thigh-induced friction on the way in. If belly-down, Catcher will enjoy the abdominal (and therefore G-spot) pressure while both parties will like that this magical position makes certain lengthy things seem even longer.

2. The Head Rush: Catcher lies on his/her back with shoulder blades on the edge of the bed, letting the head hang loosely. A little blood-rush adds a tingly sensation and vulnerability to Catcher’s experience while Pitcher will feel like the shirtless Fabio who just caught the recently fainted lusty lady-in-distress who’s now looking to reward her buff hero. Just don’t stay there for too long or get up too fast—real fainting may kill the fantasy.

3. The Bouncer: Pitcher stands with his/her back to the bed with legs close to the mattress. Pitcher picks Catcher up, cradling Catcher’s bottom while Catcher puts his/her arms around Pitcher’s neck. Catcher puts his/her feet on the bed behind Pitcher, making Pitcher’s lift easier and allowing Catcher to contribute to the bounce with a little legwork. A good workout that’s much more sustainable (and bouncy!) than the aforementioned pick-me-up-and-do-me-against-the-wall.

4. Reverse Cowgirl/Cowboy: Catcher sits on top of Pitcher’s naughty area facing Pitcher’s feet while Pitcher lies on his/her back. Catcher will have the benefit of controlling depth, speed and angle by either sitting with torso straight or bending forward towards Pitcher’s feet (grabbing Pitcher’s ankles for extra leverage). Both parties will have excellent views of each other’s sweet spots, leaving other standby spots (think anal plugs or vibrators) in easy reach.

5. The Chair Lift: Pitcher takes a load off and sits in a low, armless chair. Catcher straddles Pitcher facing him/her with feet firmly planted on the floor. Catcher enjoys the role-reversal as he/she takes charge of the pace of the game by lowering him/herself onto Pitcher’s “pitching arm.” Catcher’s large amount of control makes this perfect for cautious anal sex newbies or, with some tethers, a blindfold and a “no touching” rule, makes for some excruciating teasing.

6. The Spooner: Like cuddling, but more orgasmic! Pitcher spoons Catcher (aw!) to enter from behind. Sync up your hips for some soft, shallow penetration and lots of intimate body contact. Perfect belly-support for pregnant partners, this position also leaves Catcher’s clit or penis wide-open for vibrator play.

7. The Booty-Boost: Give your usual Missionary or Doggie Style a boost by propping Catcher’s hips up with a couple pillows. Like sex-position Botox, it’s amazing what a little lift can do.


Yana Tallon-Hicks

Author: Yana Tallon-Hicks

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