21 Reasons to Love Being a Lezzie

We can’t get married in every state (yet!), homophobia lurks around us like an old turd that just won’t flush no matter how many times we try, and it’s even harder to get through high school when you’re a lady-loving lady. Now I have and continue to find lovely partners in men—so don’t get your boxers in a bunch—but, lez-bi-honest: being a lady who sleeps with/dates/marries other ladies is pretty awesome. Here are 21 reasons why:

1. Going to a straight bar’s “ladies’ night” gets you cheap drinks and more hook-up candidates.

2. Selecting the “I don’t want to be seen by straight people” option on OKCupid makes your Inbox much more manageable.

3. You never run out of tampons.

4. You can choose the size and color of your dildo/penis depending on your mood.

5. No stubble scratch on your smooth baby face.

6. Impeccable gaydar. Nothing makes you feel you’re part of an awesome secret society more than when you spot a fellow lezzie in a classically homophobic place (like Alabama) and give each other “the nod.”

7. Though it’s a pretty annoying assumption that your only dating standard is “must be a lesbian,” it can be fun being constantly set up with your straight friends’ lesbian coworkers.

8. Two (or more) female bodies knocking the puss-in-boots has zero risk of accidental pregnancy and the lowest rate of STD/HIV transmission risk of all couple combinations.

9. As a member of an elite 8 percent of the population, you always feel unique and special.

10. Having sex on your period (and your period in general) is no big whoop. Also, chocolate flows like lava two weeks out of the month.

11. Your clitoris is a little less mysterious.

12. Your life is all glitter and rainbows—literally.

13. No one questions you if you want to go braless, cut off all your hair or wear flannel 365 days of the year.

14. You don’t have to go to a bar or club to pick up other chicks—just go grocery shopping at your local food coop or farmer’s market.

15. You’ll rarely feel mysoginistically objectified by your partner.

16. No one will think twice if you choose to adopt instead of birth children.

17. Your partner probably won’t flinch (much) if you want to introduce sex toys into your sex life.

18. You always have company while waiting in long public restroom lines.

19. You don’t need to worry about someone not being able to “get it up.” It’s always up.

20. Letting your regular pubic hair maintenance or other shaving routines “go wild” isn’t a thing.

21. And finally, the best part about being a lesbian is that through national political movements, celebrity coming-outs and pride celebrations across the world, being a lesbian just keeps getting better.


Yana Tallon-Hicks

Author: Yana Tallon-Hicks

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