Missed Connections: Let Me Take You Out, Liar

Grilled Peaches — m4w (Big Y, Southampton)

The Missed Connections forum on Craigslist is a wasteland of terrible poetry, dick pics, and whining, but among the detritus are some truly fascinating, funny, and occasionally sweet entries. The following are highlights from the Western Mass Missed Connections forum, sans detritus.

Grilled Peaches — m4w (Big Y, Southampton) 

This was my last chance. Instead of asking you for your number in some terribly cheesy way, I invited you over to enjoy some grilled food. You replied with your beautiful smile that you’d consider it. I replied that I didn’t believe you. And, in sheer reaction, I opted in pointing at you and calling you a liar. I’m sorry for calling you a liar. I didn’t mean it, as it was merely in the heat of the moment. You never showed at my friends’, possibly because you were mad at me for calling you a liar. I didn’t mean it. Or perhaps you just happen to have a boyfriend, which is totally understandable too. I would expect you would.
This entire situation took place in all of 20 minutes. I’m hoping perchance you’re out there and this reaches you. And if it does reach you and you’re available for meeting up for coffee or drinks, I would love to talk more about grilling peaches and perhaps learning more about you. (PS Big Y didn’t have any peaches, so I was unable to try it out last night, but I will be in the future).
If you see this and you’re out there please respond. I would love to talk. April 30, 2017

For J — m4m

I’ve been fantasizing about you since we met. I need a daddy. Can we be intimate next time we meet? Can you give me a hint that you’re interested such as touching my back? May 2, 2017

Pittsfield, wahconah st Walking — m4w (Pittsfield)

I was heading through the Lights near Harry’s supermarket, you where walking towards the liquor store , listing too music. you and me had a serious eye to eye contact and you smiled sooooo beautifully I can’t get it out of my head , you are so beautiful. If you see this what did you do other then smile at me and what color car was I driving and type ? May 1, 2017

You work for Salvation Army in Albany — w4m

You came by my job this morning to pick up our chairs for donation. I was passing the chairs to you. Just wanted to say you where a very good looking man just my type. If you see this and wanna chat hit me back. Tell me what color my scrubs where?? May 1, 2017

Chicopee Marine in 1995 — w4m

I can’t remember your name but we met in 1995! You were blond, from Chicopee and a Marine. You left right after we met I believe you Went somewhere in or near Washington state. I came to see you once but we never spoke again. Just wanted to know if you were still out there and that you found this message in a bottle. Kimberly-West Spfld May 1, 2017

Deals and Steals — m4m

C. your smile was enchanting!! And the Ford Motors t-shirt is sweet!! wish I could know more….. Justin April 30, 2017

I dont like being told what to do unless i’m naked. — m4w

You yelled “Turn already!” because I was making a right turn too slowly. I guess you didn’t see that kid in the crosswalk in front of me. You really need to relax lady. April 28, 2017

Photo Illustration by Kristin Palpini

Author: Photo Illustration by Kristin Palpini

Editor of the Valley Advocate

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