Oh, Stephen

Last night I dreamt that Stephen Colbert was my friend. He had read something of mine and contacted me about it and we became pals, were going to work together on some project. It was all very exciting. Then suddenly we were in a building that was collapsing. I was sure we were going to die but he was calm and assured. We fell down and down and ended up buried in sand. I thought we were going to suffocate but somehow we didn’t. After that, we were closer still, appeared on talk shows to talk about the ordeal. It was an unequal friendship because of how wonderful and heroic he was, plus he was Stephen Colbert and all, but he never lorded it over me, no sirree. I felt emasculated by my crush on him, but it was okay – masculation became less of a priority than ever. Waking up was heartbreaking. Sigh.