[Ignore the YouTube video above — or don’t ignore it, since it’s pretty funny, but know that it has nothing to do with the post below. I was just making sure we could post YouTube videos.]
Manjecture #86: You can wear a man purse, or just a purse for that matter, if you’re walking next to living proof of your virility.
So the very pregnant wife and I were at the fancy new mall in Austin over the weekend — it’s called, somewhat ominously, "The Domain," and in addition to doing your shopping there you can actually live there; there are tres chic condominiums above the shops — and as we got out of the car I asked her if she would put my keys in her purse.
She took the keys and then, for reasons I can no longer reconstruct, asked me whether I would carry the purse (it’s one of those small-ish, woven, Guatemalan-looking things, really less a purse than a pouch on a strap).
I thought about it for a second, and then said I would.
"You’re not afraid for your masculinity?" she asked.
"No," I said. "Not so long as I’m walking next to your pregnant belly. It’s living proof of my virility."
I was being brash, but it turned out to be true. I didn’t think about the purse again until we got back to the car about 45 minutes later. It helped that the strap was long, and so I could carry it across my chest rather than under my arms, but still I was pretty proud of myself.
It occurs to me that maybe there’s a more comprehensive manjecture that arises from this scenario, and it’s that you can get away with a lot — you get to do things that your normal anxiety of masculinity would prevent you from doing — in your role as "a father." You’ve procreated, you’ve fulfilled your genetic destiny as a man, and therefore there’s less pressure on you to prove your machisimo in the more superficial ways.
