As Howie Kurtz notes today, there’s a disturbing amount of amnesia hitting the Republican upper crust. This is tough on the rest of us as we try to piece together who last prayed at the Karl Rove altar, or worse yet, rapped with him. (This is the most disturbing footage I’ve seen since Lee Atwater played a guitar solo onstage with B.B. King with abandon reminiscent of a mullethead enraptured by Foreigner’s "Urgent" in the privacy of his bedroom.)
But it’s even harder on the Republican unfortunates themselves. After watching the head of the GSA testify before Congress that she couldn’t remember meetings, slides, or even the meaning of specific words, I got a little teary-eyed. And then there’s poor old Alberto Gonzalez, who, years ago when he worked for governor Bush, couldn’t remember, when he suggested to Bush which death row inmates to spare (hint: pretty much none of them), things like which of them were mentally retarded or had evidence exonerating them. Now he can’t remember whole meetings with Bush or Rove or anybody else. The poor dears just keep contradicting themselves.
I submit that each high-ranking Republican needs an assistant who can keep track of his or her movements and record them for posterity, so that when they are dragged before Congress, they can turn to the (re)minder and say, "I don’t recall, but I’m sure my personal memory assistant will provide the incriminating evidence you need." It would save us all a lot of trouble, not to mention taxpayer expense.
So today I’m beginning a new fundraising effort, because personal memory assistants ain’t cheap. My foundation is called the Republican Memory Fund, and you can send donations in unmarked bills directly to me. And if you’re a Republican, you can then promptly forget that you sent it.
