Why we haven't gotten that bin Laden fellow, explained!

From yesterday’s press conference:

Q: Mr. President, why is [Osama bin Laden] still at large?

THE PRESIDENT: Why is he at large? Because we haven’t got him yet, Jim. That’s why.

This also just in:

We haven’t left Iraq because we’re still there.

The pre-war intelligence was wrong because it wasn’t right.

Our president is a moron because he doesn’t know jack. That’s why.