I’ve been having a pig crisis. The monster pig just slain in ‘Bama came from Heflin, Ala. I have therefore been a bit concerned about the nature of my own connection to giant pigs. Much of my extended family is Arkansan, and as you may know, the University of Arkansas mascot is the razorback, or feral boar. It’s a mean sucker. So when I found out about this current connection, I wondered if destiny might have me somehow embrace the porky connection.
I have been a bit riled by Frank Dodge over at the Dodge Report of late, because he blogged in a clearly marked comment section. That seemed pretty unfriendly. But Frank seems to understand a few things about sheep and beefalo, so I wrote him to ask about these feral pigs. Below is the exchange:
Dear Frank–
I know that recently I have been a bit unhappy that you went and posted your blog entry in my comment section. It was a scoundrelous thing to do, perhaps, but I must and will let bygones by bygones, because I am beginning to understand what would drive a fellow to do such a thing. I may have got my dander up, but I’m beginning to see that, even though you are a Yankee, you do know a thing or three about some important matters.
I have reached some sort of crossroads of a familial nature. What does it mean, Frank, that I have been driven to cover the news about hogs, especially giant, wild hogs? You seem to understand your sheep 242 friend, so perhaps you can help me understand why hogs, especially giant, wild hogs, seem to be connected to me, whether I want them to be or not.
You see, Frank, the recently shot giant hog in Alabama grew up in Heflin, Alabama. It is a town about which I know little, but obviously some ancestor of mine decided that some drab strip of Southern soil (I don’t know that you’ve been to Alabama, but it’s pretty drab and not much fun to visit, really, and the accents are extra-super-Southern) looked like home and started a town, way too far from Texas. Years later, that town to which my family is clearly connected has produced a hog which is bigger than Hogzilla. Some people have to understand their relation to royalty, others their connection to history’s unsavories, but me, I have to understand a connection to wild hogs.
Do you have any thoughts on this?
Confused,
Ten Gallon Liberal
__________________
You do not have to go to the town, TLG. For example my
name is dodge which it is customary for peopple to get
out of. so maybe it is the same for you and instead of
going to the town that is yr namesake you shld be
running away from it. and considering the news coming
out of yr own dodge i think running away is a wise
choice. you may not have started running yet but i
suggest you strap on some of those nike muklucks and
start hightailing it away from that pig place.
sincerely,
Frank Dodge
_____________
Thank you, Frank. I may not be clearer on anything, but after reading that, somehow things seem a bit less– I don’t know, greasy? I will dig out the mukluks.
