George W. Bush, armed with his halting, homespun testiness, last week referred to the Director of National Intelligence, a full-grown adult named Mike McConnell, as “Mr. DNI.”
If Bush’s plummeting poll numbers are any indication, most of the country feels dyspeptic about such displays. But put all of that aside for a moment, and try to look at Bush the Younger through the eyes of a Blue Dog Democrat, one of those “centrists” known for not being a wild-eyed liberal. Mr. President proclaims that you–yes, you there, in the Democratic Caucus–can’t go on vacation until you expand his spying powers by updating the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, that quaint old law from the ’70s. The administration received a blow several months ago when a FISA court judge–one of the people the law mandates as overseers to keep spying within its lawful parameters–ruled some of the spying activities illegal. Apparently, Bush would prefer not to abide by that ruling. Instead, he’s come to you, his Democratic opponent, to say that before you can pack up the beach blanket and head for Key West, you have to make his spying legal by changing the law to suit his desires. If not, you are gonna be in the hot seat when the terrorists come calling. It will be your fault.
Gulp. Sure, Mr. President may be one percentage point away from Nixon’s disapproval numbers. Sure, you were elected because so many people oppose this man’s dissembling lawlessness and his disastrous war. But he’s not crying wolf this time! What if your constituents call you “soft on terrorism”? That could be the end of your earmark-laden job, and land you back on the school board in Podunk instead of in the United States Congress, smoking cigars with that nice fellow from Merck who always visits on Wednesdays.
You are sore afraid. Time to triangulate. The Democratic Congress’ approval numbers are, after all, lower even than those of Bush. Maybe if you go along with him, you can climb up to 25 percent and snag a few more conservative-leaning voters.
There are, of course, people who are upset, who say that reworking FISA, which was the result of years of study, in a couple of pre-vacation days might not be sufficient. They say, too, that civil liberties will be further demolished, and that the person who’s been lying to you about everything, Attorney General Gonzalez, might not be good at helping Mr. DNI determine appropriate spying parameters.
But you, the intrepid Blue Dog, know better. Besides, the whole thing will sunset in six months, when you can use all the powder you’ve been keeping dry to demand changes, just like you Blue Dogs did with the PATRIOT Act. You go into the hallowed chambers of the legislative branch and do exactly as the head of the executive branch wants, exactly when he wants it. Time for your well-deserved break. You can head for the beach, sip a margarita and watch those poll numbers soar ever higher at last. Nevermind that weird echo on your phone that sounds like someone’s listening in. You haven’t done anything wrong, so you have nothing to worry about.
An authoritarian state is only bad if you’re a terrorist. And they do call it the “Terrorist Surveillance Program.” That means they only spy on terrorists. Due process is a dated paradigm in the age of terror. The more freedom you give up, the less freedom the terrorists can hate us for. A bright future of congressional perks and re-election barbecues stretches out for you noble few who will stand up for Bush.
And those “liberals”? That 65 percent of Americans who disapprove? They can go to their windows right now, stick their heads out and say, "I’m mad as hell, and I’m not gonna take this anymore!" Gratification might swell within their hearts as they hear their fellow citizens not taking this anymore, either. Then the echos will die down, the hum of the street will creep back in, and they’ll have to decide between microwaving the fish sticks or eating leftover fettucine.
They’ll just have to take this somemore.
