Here’s an idea: ask experts what causes terrorism. Then try to eliminate the causes. Then there will be less terrorism.

But that wouldn’t benefit the bottom lines of our massive defense industry companies, to whom many of our top government officials have loads of ties. And it would mean we’d have to give up on that quaint and intensely stupid notion that they "hate us for our freedom." Of course, once we have no freedoms left, something tells me they’ll still hate us.

But courtesy of this BBC story, you can’t say you haven’t been warned: don’t walk like a terrorist! Even in a crowd. There’s a new idea called "gait DNA" by which you can be tracked.

This stuff ain’t funny anymore. I don’t want to live in the movie Brazil. Of course, we all trust our very trustworthy government officials to never make a mistake and never abuse this absurd kind of power.

"As you walk through a crowd, we’ll be able to track you," said Professor Challapa. "These are all things that don’t need the cooperation of the individual."

"And 10 years from now, the technology will be much smarter. We’ll scan a person with one of these things and tell what they’re actually thinking."

Oh yay! Now we’ll all be safe!