There’s a hole in the universe, and this may, apparently, prove that there is another universe. That makes me feel a whole lot better somehow. We’ve screwed things up so royally in this one that somebody or other deserves a chance to do better.
I have my own theory. I think that somewhere maybe 20 years ago, we entered that hole in the universe and got all swapped around. We are the alternate universe, and the main one is back there somewhere on the other side of the hole. And in that one, America is a democracy, and George Bush is what he really wanted to be, a baseball commissioner, inept but much-loved for his misuse of the English language, ala Yogi Berra. Yeah, if only he had gotten his way that time instead.
And I have proof of my claims. You see, when I was but a kid, the word was spelled "dilemna," not this simplified nonsense "dilemma." It’s a leftover, you see, from the universe that ought to be. Even now the stupide spellcheque has underlined my properly spelled word.
I am not alone in having noticed this discrepancy–several others have confirmed to me that the "proper" spelling has indeed changed. (Have you, o reader?) I remember how it used to be, you evil overlord people, wherever you are. One day we’ll return the "mm" to its much more entertaining "mn." Just you watch.
