Researching the latest revisions to my book proposal (I could’ve just written the goddamn book in the time and energy I’ve spent on this thing), I bought a copy of “relationship expert” Steve Santagati’s The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate – and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top. It was recommended to me as and example of a popular book by a guy about guys but written for women, and, well, I suppose that’s what it is, although just what women would read, let alone recommend it just baffles this guy.
[NOTE: A step inside my brain: whenever I write the words "this guy" I’m thinking of the bad/great/bad joke that goes like this (it’s physical humor, so it doesn’t translate so well to the page, but I’ll do my best):
Sleazy-acting Guy Telling Joke: Hey, bro, what has two thumbs and likes blowjobs?
Rube: Gee I dunno, what?
S-aGTJ: (wagging his big thumbs at his own self): This guy!
I guess it’s a riddle, actually. Regardless, we now return to our regularly scheduled post.]
Big Stevie S. offers such invaluable relationship-makers as: “Want to know how to groom “downtown”? Just look at the current trends of waxing in the magazines men read.”
No, really, I swear.
It’s a non-book book. Or, to be more precise, it’s worse than a non-book, it’s an absolute piece of shit. A book of two page chapters and vapid, condescending, "witty" bullet-point dictums. A book that wants to be wise and clever and funny, and fails and fails and fails. All it succeeds in being is a book that’s promotable, with a hot-ish ex-model with six-pack abs for an author. Here, from the chapter on “Self Esteem” which, in a sentence (which is really all it is, a sentence, just stretcchhhced.) says that hot dudes dig chicks who dig themselves, here are the bad boy’s hot tips:
-Do things for yourself. Buy yourself a gift. Knit a scarf, run a marathon, buy a dog. Anything.
-Entertain Yourself. Cook alone, read solo in the park, go to a movie alone, or attend a concert by yourself
– Go away for a weekend. Just you. If you’re new at solo travel, try going to a spa by yourself
– Take a class. Learn something new. Pick up a new hobby.
Got that ladies? I could go on all day with examples like these, but I think you get the idea.
It’s been suggested to me that I put this book in the “people who liked this book will like my book” section of the proposal, in that it’s a book in which a man offers up his perspective on men and women and sex and relationships. Instead, today I created a new section of the proposal: “People who hated these books will like my book.” (Suggestions of other titles for the list welcome.) I also considered scrapping the whole project if this is the kind of crap by men about men that sells. Arrrrrgggghhhh.
Afternote: I just went and googled Steve S. and found this video and, well, he’s just a goofy good-looking guy trying to make a buck after his modeling years are over. He’s much less slick than he’s hyped as, and doesn’t seem particularly “bad,” either, just a simple guy trying to be smart, a guy who’s been fashioned by his agent and publicist into a bad-ass relationship guru when he’s really just another shmuck trying to get by. Almost makes me want to not post this post. Almost.
