Freedom requires religion. Mitt Romney said this. It was the signature line in his recent highly-touted speech.
This was the much anticipated speech in which the former Massachusetts governor was expected to assure Americans that, as our president, he would respect all religions and creeds, and respect freedom of religion itself, which, of course, includes the freedom not to hold any religious views whatsoever.
But instead of assuring us, Mitt totally freaked us out.
Freedom requires religion. That sounds like something Woody Allen would have written in his satiric movie Bananas, maybe the coda to this pronouncement by the new revolutionary leader: "From this day on, the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish. In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Freedom requires religion. Underwear requires freedom."
Far be it from me to cast aspersions on anyone's religion, but Mitt the Mormon might as well be Mitt the Muslim Mullah with a statement like "Freedom requires religion." As most of us were taught by our gay secularist multicultural liberal humanist public school teachers, "freedom requires religion" goes against everything our forefathers and foremothers stood for.
Did Mitt even mean to say it? More importantly, did he actually mean it? Who knows any longer?
More than any other aspect of George Orwell's 1984 that George OrBush has recreated during his bleak and benighted reign, the destruction of the English language is the most chilling. Words mean nothing, or anything, now.
Mission accomplished. We do not torture. We have to fight them there so we don't have to fight them here, in our Nebraska shopping malls. The insurgency is in its last throes. The Iraqi people will greet us with lap dances and free beer.
Bush's famous malapropisms are not the result of an addled brain. They are the standard operating procedure of a tyrant.
They are also a clear indication that he really doesn't give a damn about what he says or the people to whom he says it. Bush couldn't tell you what he said five minutes ago.
Freedom to him is just another word for nothing left to lie about.
The destruction of our language is mirrored in the destruction of our body politic. Bush has appointed himself sole interpreter of the Constitution, which effectively destroys that document, one I vaguely recall as having been important to our nation.
But, hey, what's the difference as long as freedom means religion and the malls are open and well stocked? It's the time of year to think about religion and freedom, underwear and Sweden.
The U.S. Congress, following the lead of this despised president (his approval rating is 25 percent), proclaims a political victory even when it is giving Bush every penny he needs to keep his murder spree alive. As the AP dryly noted, "Democratic leadership aides expressed confidence that Boehner and Blunt will not be able to keep enough Republicans away from a bill that funds the war, popular domestic programs and their own pet projects, known as earmarks. With a long holiday break beckoning, few lawmakers will be in the mood for a protracted standoff."
After all, freedom requires religion, and it's that time of year again.
I sure hope I get some underwear in my stocking.
