Okay, I'm bitter. I lost my American flag lapel pin while I was rolling gutter balls at the bowling alley. And afterwards they were out of orange juice at the blue-collar diner where I go for my photo ops with "Cup of Joe" Lieberman. Also, I don't own any guns so I can't bitterly cling to them or vent my anger on the few remaining critters within driving distance of the one tank of gas I can afford for my Hummer. And my flag lapel pin… honey, have you seen my flag lapel pin?! I can't go out in public without the flag lapel pin! That's like streaking!
Have you noticed we live in a stupid nation now? It's little wonder. We've had eight years of pure stupid in the White House. And during that time, We the People have been massaged by a stupid media, hectored by stupid hypocrites and stupid moralists, terrified by stupid extremists, pandered to by stupid politicians, and lied to by military experts on TV (see last Sunday's New York Times for details). It's the natural law of Stupid in/ Stupid out. Welcome to the United States of Stupidity, the laughingstock of the world.
It used to be that just the so-called "Red States" (come to think of it, the Red-Blue thing was pretty stupid) were allergic to facts. But now it's all of us. We just sit here and take it all in, complain about gas prices when oil companies run the White House, wonder why the airlines are collapsing and there is no transportation alternative. It's the stupidity, stupid! While we were sidetracked by John Edwards' haircuts, the oil companies got Congress to destroy Amtrak for them; Bangladesh now has a more efficient passenger rail system than we do.
While we sat transfixed by the magnificence of Angelina Jolie's lips and Britney Spears' shaven crotch, Croatia, Latvia and Albania moved ahead of the United States on the global Environmental Sustainability Index. While we munched freedom fries and stockpiled duct tape, our national treasury was looted. And so on.
We the people didn't used to be this dumb. Or maybe we're just stupefied by all the stupid. Maybe we would revolt, if we weren't so revolted. Or if we weren't all so exhausted, out of shape, obese and stressed out that the medical websites we consult because we can't afford health insurance advise against strenuous revolution.
Either way, we do nothing when we're treated like mentally deficient children, fed a steady diet of stupidity by the Knights of the Square Circle and their Court of Dumbalot: Chris Matthews, Tim Russert, Sean Hannity, Larry King, Charlie Gibson and George Stephanopoulos, along with the Dimwitted Duchesses: Cokie Roberts, Peggy Noonan, Laura Ingraham, Andrea Mitchell, Katie Couric, Ann Coulter. It's sad that we all know these names but not those of any Nobel laureates of the past two years.
I never watch network television except when it has something I can't get elsewhere. However, ABC News hosted the final debate between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama last Wednesday night. And so, with trepidation, I switched it on. Unlike sports events, one can't mute the volume for a debate. You actually have to listen. And what a mighty crock of stupid it was, forever curing me of watching anything produced by a network news organization.
Two things occurred to me while I watched Gibson and Staph-Infection assault and batter Obama. 1) Why don't the networks just come out and say it straight up: They don't want a black man in the White House. 2). Obama needs to be better prepared to deflect the stupidity in future debates with McCain. If anything, Obama has erred on the side of hope. He actually thinks he will be asked intelligent questions.
Hope is nice, of course, but a good left jab and a couple of well-aimed rights into the soft white underbelly would work wonders. When Obama stands up and says, "I will not play dumb any longer," he may just prove to be an agent of change. For all of us.
What do you think?
Email editor@valleyadvocate.com.
