Putting your foot down

Dead right feet keep washing up in Canada. I don’t have any brilliant notions about what such a thing could mean, but it’s just so goldang weird I had to bring it up. The experts (who knew there were experts on such things?) say the feet show no evidence of having been removed by force, which it itself a bit of a head-scratcher, though I guess the ocean does weird things to people, especially when they’re dead. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I pretty much hang on to my feet, no matter who asks to borrow them.