John McCain spoke last night from beyond the grave. It was one of the most frightening speeches I’ve ever seen. “Attaturk,” over at the very fine Eschaton blog, offered the best comment so far: “Oh, go with the green background. It’ll make you look like the cottage cheese in a lime jello salad.”
Oh, heavens above, please in thy wisdom grant us a general election campaign that carries this dynamic all the way to November! The McCaininator held forth in front of teeming dozens, who seemed to be in the back room of a funeral home, ginning up so much enthusiasm they managed to wave their signs slowly, and clap a little. His manner was that of a stern (but really trying) professor emeritus circa 1956, lecturing the kids on why their rock and roll music a) would damage their tender ears even if they didn’t know it yet, and b) was just a fad. And the big joke: Hey, rock and roll even violates the “no parallel fifths” rule of harmony, kids! That’s not change you can believe in! Followed by one of the creepiest smiles since Donald Rumsfeld displayed the dentures at the podium.
My favorite bit, though, was that McCain, while bashing the kid for being so goldurn naive, was speaking in front of the slogan “A Leader We Can Believe In.” So basically, the kid’s all wrong, but we’re going to try to emulate his slogan, you know, just in case.
They cut from the raging dozens of napping McCainiacs to a crowd of 17,000 waiting for Obama, who entered to U2’s “It’s A Beautiful Day” (a song which restored my faith in the band I adored back in high school–and yes, way before Joshua Tree, so I’m way hipper than my hat might indicate). If this dynamic continues, and oh how I hope it does, November’s gonna be a very good month.
Now if we can just get Hillary Clinton to quit. One gets the uncomfortable feeling that, come next January, when Obama lifts his right hand to take the oath, Clinton’s gonna suddenly somersault onto the podium a la Crouching Tiger and slap her hand onto the Bible instead.
If you think you make it through without napping, here’s Mr. Cottage Cheese in Lime Jello himself:
