I almost never give to panhandlers, but only because I can rarely afford to. Towards the end of the month I'm pretty much just a step above them—and not a very long step.

That is one of the reasons why I am interested in the latest proposal coming out of Northampton to enact an ordinance controlling panhandling. After all, it doesn't hurt to have a little sense of "there but for the grace of God…." In any case, the proposed restrictions sound quite severe as reported in the Springfield Republican:

"Among other restrictions, panhandling would be prohibited within 15 feet of a bank, ATM, parking pay box, pay phone, public toilet or bus stop. Panhandlers would not be allowed to solicit from any park bench, in any public park or under any railroad or street overpass. Panhandlers would also be barred from passively standing or sitting while asking for money."

Gee, where is there a space not within 15 feet of the things that are on that list? Three square feet near the curb somewhere, so that if you stand on one foot and lean to the left with one arm outstretched you won't be in violation? But of course they forbid "passively standing or sitting"—which leaves you to do what? Levitate?

Obviously the real purpose of this ordinance is to make panhandling impossible on the streets of Northampton, only no one has the honesty to just come out and say so. Part of the reason for that has to do with free speech. The courts have ruled that you have a right to say what you want in public, including the words, "Hey, buddy, got a quarter?" Therefore, they're trying to put up all these location-based restrictions so that arrests can be blamed on the proximity to bus stops, parks, pay phones, etc. and not on a desire to restrict anyone's First Amendment rights.

Which is bullshit. And expensive bullshit, too, if you get caught, given the penalties being considered. Another proposal accompanying the panhandling ordinance would allow police to fine people $50 for a first offense, $100 for a second offense, $200 for a third offense and $300 for a fourth or subsequent offense.

You'd have to bum a lot of quarters to pay those fines!

Who are these uptight people who are bothered by panhandlers? Some of them contacted me at my blog after I wrote about my skepticism about the ordinance. I was surprised by some of the incidents of "panhandlers from hell" that were described.

"I have been approached numerous times by panhandlers when I was at the ATM in Northampton or putting money in the parking meter," wrote one person. "I do not feel safe when there is someone outside of the ATM at 10 at night knowing I just got done withdrawing funds from my bank account. If it happened once or twice, fine, but every time I go to downtown Northampton, which is at least once a week, I get asked for money every 50-100 feet. And most times, it's not just "hey buddy, got a quarter." Most times they are just downright rude. Swearing, name calling, etc."

A mother of a young child expressed this opinion: "I've definitely been made uncomfortable by panhandlers, especially when I'm with my kid, who will strike up a conversation with anyone. I bet more women than men would tell you they've felt uncomfortable, either because they're more likely to be targeted by aggressive strangers, or because they're more likely to feel vulnerable in public places. But often it's by people whom I think have some sort of mental illness, too—or they're just the general kind of asshole who would say creepy things to passersby whether or not they were looking for money. Maybe we should make a law against assholes. That would be brilliant—especially if it applied to lawmakers."

Paolo Mastrangelo, a native Northamptonist who used to write a blog by that name before he moved recently to New York City, cast doubt on the veracity of some of the horror stories.

"I lived in town for 32 years, and no one ever bothered me, nor anyone I know," he says. "I have never heard a story about it from anyone, except online via Masslive or blogs. The only time I saw someone get bothered downtown was via physical violence, and always between familar parties. I never saw a panhandler 'accost' or 'harass' anyone or do more than simply and quietly ask someone for change. And I lived downtown; it was my backyard for every one of those years." Mastrangelo goes on to accuse those recounting panhandling horror stories as "exaggerating, delusional, or outright lying." So who knows?

The attempt to regulate panhandling comes close on the heels of a move by the Department of Public Works to require street performers to buy a permit, even though their presence keeps the scene lively and adds much to the ambience of downtown Hamp. People hanging on the street—even panhandlers—is part of what makes the downtown special and vibrant and conducive to attracting the sort of creative people who like and require that kind of loose environment.

But it seems that some people want a bohemian atmosphere without having to put up with any bohemians. The danger is that this panhandling ordinance will inadvertently kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. If it succeeds in creating the sterile environment that some apparently desire, then the panhandlers will be gone, but so too may everyone else.