Quiz time: When the drunk who micturated on the rug that tied the room together comes to your door and demands you give him the keg of beer in your garage with no strings attached, what should you say?

a) Of course! And be sure to check out the wine cellar before you go! Do you have a key? Here, I’ll give you the spare!

b) Yes, but you have to pass the occasional breathalyzer test.

c) Perhaps you’d like to examine the seltzer selection as well?

d) Let’s re-examine this in a few weeks, after that election business stops making our heads spin.

Not saying I know precisely what’s the best option here, but questioning the drunk, especially when he keeps eyeing the new rug, can only clarify things, no? It might even lead to a sober way forward that doesn’t simply privatize buzz and socialize the tab. Especially when one of the drunk’s pals tells you (in his own slurred way) to watch out for the rug.