I don’t know if you caught it, cause it was mostly a Sarah-and-me thing, but Governor Hot Stuff winked at me. And I just forgot all about policy and all that crap, and figured, hey, if I elect her, the two of us are going to have a thing. And that’s pretty hot. Having a thing with the VP. Spiro Agnew could never have done that. And she said "doggonit"–‘that’s just so cute!! All you wingnuts aren’t going to have a thing with Bible Spice, because she and I are going to be having our thing. Let’s just say all y’all are gonna have to just imagine what could be going on in a little igloo in ANWR after dark.
"Drill, baby, drill!" was, I believe, what Governor Hottie corrected Biden on, if memory serves. Even though there’s a 10-year wait for returns on that. And so she messed up the name of our commander in Afghanistan. And so my knowledge of Pakistan far exceeds hers. You remember what happened when she met the preznit of Pakistan? He told her she was gorgeous. That would defuse any invasion! We could have a whole new era of foreign policy, as world leaders swoon under the power of the batting eyelashes of Caribou Barbie and her accent there that she’s got there that sounds kinda like squealing brakes combined with the sounds of clubbed baby seals there.
Forget Obama or McCain. I’m writing in my new girlfriend for president. I’m gonna go listen to some Air Supply there while I dream of a white Christmas at the North Pole gazing into the designer frames and vaseline smile of the new frigid Bush.
We may well be on the verge of a whole new Republican era as the neocons find ever hotter spokeswomen to make us all click our heels and forget. It’s like we’re being taken over by Vulcans, and we’re powerless in the face of their feminine charms. Or something. (Remember Dana Perino? Yesterday’s news, but still, really darned pretty, so who cares that she lies all the time, right?)
UPDATE: I’d like to propose a new debate format that could streamline this whole process and avoid wasting 90 minutes of everybody’s time. One question: Would you please say the word "nuclear" three times?
