Do you ever have one of those days where you just want to lie shipwrecked and comatose, drinking fresh mango juice?

This is one of those days.

When I have one of those days, I always go here, at least since about 1989:

In other, BREAKING news:

Barack Hussein Obama, almost prez, was not born in Hawaii, but was born in Kenya and Indonesia, and I personally have the two birth certificates to prove it locked into a rotting Volkswagen on my grandmother's compound in an undisclosed state beginning with the letter A. I herewith demand that Barack Hussein Obama pay attention to me pronto or I'll go public on his skinny butt with my authentic documents proving that he was born in Kenya and Indonesia and is completely a Zoroastrian bent on making us all pay taxes according to our astrological signs (and you Saggitariuses had better watch your nancy boy step). Well?