A bushel of potatoes.
Slice and quarter but do not peel to retain nutrients. Like most living things, potatoes begin dying when they lose their skin. Boil potatoes in milk and butter. Add sprigs of thyme before serving. This, believe it or not, is delicious, especially in large quantities when there is nothing else to eat.
Plan a party and invite guests to come at a fee of $1 each. The first round of guests, who eat the potatoes on Friday evening, will each receive a generous bowl of potato soup. The second round of guests, who eat the potatoes on Saturday night, will receive a small bowl of potato soup. By the time Sunday brunch rolls around, you will have used all of the entree fee dollars to buy a ticket out of town.
The "Ponzi scheme" is named after Charles Ponzi, a Beantown denizen who briefly became a millionaire in 1920 with a fraud involving the Italian lira.