On a slow news week such as the one between Christmas and New Year's, it is altogether fitting and proper that America's pundits would pad out their copy with trivia, even as the nation is gripped by an economic crisis.
Take this breaking news story, written by New York Times White House correspondent Jackie Calmes on Dec. 29:
"The press pool assembled before 6 a.m. Hawaii time for the roughly 30-minute trip to the Kailua resort where Mr. Obama is staying. At 7:52 a.m. he and a longtime friend from Chicago, Dr. Eric Whitaker, left for the 10-minute trip to Marine Corps Base Hawaii and its Semper Fit fitness center. At 8:58 a.m. Mr. Obama, in White Sox cap and sweaty clothes, emerged to shake hands with some onlookers.
"By 9:09 he was back home. Eighteen minutes later, Samantha Tubman, the Obama staff member charged with shepherding the press pool, gave it 'a lid.' That is, she conveyed the word from Mr. Obama, through his security detail, that he would not be going out anymore that day, and that the press was free to go."
And so on for 20 column inches. They even described the tuna melt he ordered for lunch, hoping for some Maureen Dowd-like clues into what kind of "man" he is.
So on that padding-the-paper note, I would like to posit some predictions for 2009 about America's press corps.
The traditional media will continue to obsess about the Clintons, probably more so than even when Bill was frolicking with Monica. They will scrutinize Hillary Clinton's every move as Secretary of State without an ounce of the deference shown to her predecessor, the dismal failure known as Condi Rice, who, by the way, coughed up this bit o' Bushit this week: "I think generations pretty soon are going to start to thank this president for what he's done."
Maureen Dowd will write a column about Obama ordering a tuna melt.
Matt Drudge will float unsubstantiated rumors about President Obama that will be run by Fox News as bona fide reports, and the rest of the media will fall in line by reporting on the reporting. Expect bimbo alerts by February, calls for impeachment hearings by March.
Rush Limbaugh will release several sequels to "Barack the Magic Negro" and become a "free speech" hero when all those humorless "PC-police" and "Feminazis" protest.
The traditional media will continue to condescend, mock and revile the Internet even while they themselves become increasingly irrelevant. They will also continue to move the goalposts toward the right. What used to be considered moderate will be deemed as "liberal" or "left" and what used to be deemed "raving Nazi fulminations" will be deemed "conservative."
The major networks will desperately beat the drums for war with Iran. Or with Hamas. Or with Libya. Or with anybody. Papua New Guinea?
The traditional media will cease to scrutinize the crimes of the Bush regime as soon as Bush is out of the White House. Any attempts to bring accountability to the Republican Party for their crimes over the past eight years will be called "needlessly divisive" and "misguided" by Tom Friedman, who will publish a bestseller, The World Is Actually Rounder Than I Suspected.
Sarah Palin will publish her book, tentatively entitled Alaska: It's Bigger and Dumber Than Texas, which will break the record for Fastest Book Ever To Be Remaindered.
