Occasionally I fantasize about getting married. Not being married, just getting married. Will I have a destination wedding in Cabo San Lucas? Will I get hitched at the top of Mount Washington and be spirited away with my beau by helicopter? Perhaps I'll exchange vows on the deck of the Solway Lass, surrounded by 500 of my closest friends and family, as it leaves Boston Harbor for Sydney Harbor.
Then I remember. I'm broke. Don't get me wrong: I can pay my bills. But I don't have $20 grand to throw down on a wedding. (Disclosure: I'm 30. The whole "parents paying for the wedding" thing was taken off the table a few years ago.) A proper wedding currently runs upwards of $18,500, according to Brides magazine. These days, even if you're not, like me, expected to finance your own wedding, coughing up $18 grand is pretty much out of the question. So what is a bride-to-be to do?
Get creative, according to wedding planner Deb Pearl.
"I have noticed weddings these days with a lot of creativity," said Pearl in a recent interview with the Advocate. "People are staying away from older traditions and making [their wedding] more about who they are and what they love."
With a little elbow grease and imagination, having a classy wedding that doesn't break the bank is indeed possible. For starters, instead of trying to raise more money—with "money" dances or Jack and Jill parties—just spend less. (If you simply must have a Jack and Jill—which is about as tacky as chia pets—please only invite people who are also invited to your wedding.)
The easiest place to start cutting costs, according to Pearl, is with the centerpieces and favors. "One of the best things I have seen was a bride and her mom who wanted to make their own centerpieces to save some money, so they went to their local farmers' market to buy fresh flowers," said Pearl. "Another couple had a bamboo theme. Two women were getting married and they had large bamboo in the middle of each table. Also, as favors, they gave each guest smaller bamboo in little glass vases. Not only is bamboo cheap, but it's supposed to bring luck. To boost up the centerpieces in the middle of the table, they filled the vases with water and added a couple of goldfish. Very cool."
The possibilities for DIY centerpieces and favors are endless. One fantastic idea for centerpieces involves mismatched vases and jars, available in droves at most dollar stores. The glassware can be filled with a range of items, including fresh grapes or brightly-colored berries, sea salt or colored glass chunks. Fill the vases—water pitchers or drinking goblets work, too—with water, and top off with wildflowers or floating votives.
Another inexpensive idea is to use what's in abundance depending on the season. In the fall, gourds, pumpkins and red leaves, pine cones and cranberries can be artfully arranged into centerpieces; in the winter utilize papier-mache snowflakes, evergreen branches or driftwood, oversized Hershey's kisses, poinsettia bushes and red velvet ribbons.
Homemade fudge squares wrapped in ribbons make excellent, cheap favors, as do personalized mix CDs featuring songs that are special to the couple.
Many contemporary couples, however, are simply choosing to skip wedding favors and centerpieces, opting instead, according to Pearl, to bankroll the savings or donate the saved money to their favorite charity.
Another item on which couples can easily save a large amount of money is the wedding cake. While some brides are now serving wedding cake as dessert, eliminating extra dessert costs from the menu, many are choosing to do without a cake at all.
"I've seen the wedding cake cut right out," said Pearl. "Cakes are very expensive these days. A lot of brides and grooms no longer believe in the old tradition of saving the top layer of the cake and eating it on their first-year anniversary."
If couples decide to conform to the confectionary norm, however, other options might include baking a cake themselves or creating a cupcake cake—stacks of minicupcakes.
Music at the wedding and reception can also eat into a wedding budget. If you're looking for live music, check the music departments at local college and community music centers. Often student musicians are available at a lower rate than professionals. Another popular alternative to hiring DJs and musicians is to use an iPod.
"Many of our brides and grooms are catching on to this trend," said Kathleen Murray, senior editor for online wedding publisher TheKnot.com in the Wall Street Journal's "MarketWatch."
"[Using an iPod] gives them the chance to put their own personal spin on it," Murray said. "They can have so much fun putting together the ultimate play list, getting suggestions from friends and family members."
DJ and band services can cost anywhere from $500 to $2 thousand. Even if a couple doesn't already own an iPod, the cost of buying one and downloading songs isn't going to exceed the cost of a DJ.
Yet another area where costs can be cut is wedding attire. Instead of buying a tux, the groom can simply rent (many rental companies throw in a free rental for the groom if the groomsmen are also renting tuxes). While cutting the cost of the bride's and her maids' dresses is a challenge—what bride wants to rent her dress?—it's possible if you think outside the box.
One option is to go vintage. The Pioneer Valley is rife with stores with great selections of vintage dresses which, with a little tailoring, could make an eclectic alternative to the norm. Discount stores like David's Bridal in Enfield often have dress specials; currently a handful of dresses at David's are retailing at $100. Another option is to buy a bridesmaid's dress and wear it as a wedding dress.
The choice of a wedding officiant—minister or justice of the peace—isn't usually something couples think they can skimp on. Someone has to marry you, right? The catch is, you don't necessarily have to hire someone. Instead of scouring the Valley for a minister or justice of the peace—the minimum charge for JPs in Massachusetts is $75—enlist a friend or family member. They can apply for a one-day marriage designation with the town or city clerk six weeks prior to the wedding. Applications must include a letter of reference and a $25 fee.
The cheaper option, however, is to have your friend or family member become an ordained minister. Seriously. The Seattle-based Universal Life Church Monastery ordains individuals online for free in less than a minute. While you are then officially a minister authorized to officiate at weddings, baptisms and funerals, you're required to file your ordinance credentials with the Secretary of State. The credentials cost $4.99. With shipping and handling included, the total cost of having a friend marry you is $11.78. And your friend is now a minister for life.
Whatever corners you choose to cut in order to afford the wedding of your dreams, remember that it's your day. If you don't want a wedding cake, don't have one. If you want your guests to sit on bean bags, sit they will. If you want to get married in blue jeans, it's entirely your prerogative.
"I think the most important part of a wedding is to personalize it," said Pearl. "From the centerpieces to the invitations to the favors, bring in a part of who you are and who your future husband or wife is. The most important part of your wedding is to incorporate things you both love into your day."
